Anonymous
Iceland
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
sucker and suckatash/say don't spray
Pearl City, United States
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
Sarri
Pembroke, United States
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Anonymous
Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian!
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Anonymous
Manchester, United Kingdom
Hack
Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Chill out, dude
Today, I was lectured about how emotionally immature I am by someone who, afterwards, promptly threw a chair out of anger. FML
northernlass
United States
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
OliviaO
United States
Performative
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Anonymous
Houston, United States
Been there, done that
Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML
Top comments
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Harsh crowd. Maybe you should try another gig, another place, another crowd. It'll hit eventually! Keep trying.
Lennes 12
It's difficult to speak in front of people, especially on a stage. Props to you. Most people don't have the guts for it.
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Comments (87)
sonnyrosa 32
Chin up buddy. Not everyone is going to get your humor, especially if you're new to the stage. What some comedians do is record their bit and play it back later, to make any adjustments to timing, inflection, and such. Please don't let this one bad experience sour you on getting back up on stage. Every comedian chokes at least once. Get back up there and make them laugh!
mattrd_fml 31
I want to hear one of your jokes.
gemmadaws 3
Maybe a sign to quit while you still alive next time it might be knives
KingVin 5
Sounds like a Bad sitcom scene
xRezSynn 15
I hope he doesn't have a chair to sit on anymore.
sig4life 18
Sounds like comedy isn't for you.
The_Thinker 18
Oh, hi there Adam Sandler.
Nomadic1 20
That is the funniest thing I have read in weeks...lmfao
ducky45 20
I admire you for standing up there, at least you had the guts to do it, you can't impress everyone though, good luck :)
zuelhater 7
That's great!!!