Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
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Top comments
SweetieLish 0
Forward the text to her when she's sober...I bet she'll be regretting THAT text message!
plexico 4
You must have a very long penis. Congratulations.
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Comments (128)
alexgisforme3 0
maybe 1st?
BigLord 0
What's the big deal about being first? Or what's the big deal about NOT being first?
Xero3g 5
Simply put, it's quite a difficult feat to achieve.
fmlAllStar7274 0
Wuts the point of saying first??!?!?!!?! NO ONE GIVES A DAMN Also- at least u get credit, now it will be easy 4 u to have sex wit her again :D
MusicAddict321 0
I give a damn :p
suaveneanderthal 0
man this all depends on what kind of girlfriend you have and if you had sex three days ago, she might just be drunk and got her days mixed up... or she's cheating either way that sucks.
Timmo_fml 2
52 - I somewhat feel you've missed the point. Why would he want to sleep with her again? Retard.
xxkourtneyxx 0
no one cares!
TheNewGuy03 29
You're all wrong. OP's girlfriend had telepathic sexytime with him.
ehon82 3
WOW. I wanna hear the FML about how she tries and cover that up!
lol_good_one 0
wtf is going on it seems like every on fml is cheating lol makes you wonder about your relationship...still i thought that was funny FYL!
BOOMbat 0
YDI for having a **** girlfriend. (:
mehwhateverr 0
yeah, because he KNEW she'd cheat on him, right? i hate comments like that. FYL, op.
VroomVroomVroom 0
i agree.
Krishna44 0
i agree as well, your a douchebag
1personinthiswor 0
I agree with 27
SweetieLish 0
Forward the text to her when she's sober...I bet she'll be regretting THAT text message!
alexgisforme3 0
i coulda been 2nd too...but it wouldnt send :(. i can die feeling acomplished...i always wanted to be first so bad but never thought it could happen. haha. i got second yesterday. YAYAYAYAYAYA :D
MissMarlo 0
shut up. you're such a waste of space.
dinosaursmoo 0
#1/#6 - what grade are we in? lets grow up.
generalsmith2 0
go die
NoodleBurger 0
your mom is.
AlexZB 0
i love how pissed people get on the internet... watch: Today, I had amazing sex with this guy. I sent a text to him thanking him for it, but I accidentally sent it to my boyfriend who has been out of town of 3 days. FML
MissMarlo 0
nah, i meant at the first guy who wasn't shutting up, not at the OP..
MusicAddict321 0
Go die? Dont you think that's a little harsh? 0_o
GGnoRe 0
To people like that? Never.
drinkupgorgeous 0
Haha, #49. I see what you did there. OMGZZZ REVERSE FMLS ARE NOT FUNNY STOP DOING THEM YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFEE!!!!1
Ilovelife07 0
zomg stfu its sooooo annoying when people change the FML perspective. lol just kidding
MegamiKaosu 28
I love ur puppy... ;3 <3
runescapescool 0
hi[plz
plexico 4
You must have a very long penis. Congratulations.
BigLord 0
Oh God why did I laugh so hard
drano 0
oh nice, clever #8
MissMarlo 0
You are amazing. x] +1 for you.
junkinmahcranium 0
#8 FTW. Poor you, though ...
peepo 0
ROTFL Indeed.
quackquackquac 0
Nice. That made me laugh
helllllllo_9 0
HAHA at #3. not really his fault. that sucks, maybe your girlfriend was so drunk she rolledback 3 days earlier.. HAHA
flooger101 6
Exactly, She might have ment the last night they did did it and not lastnight. Especially if she was drunk!
70bloo 0
that's low life of her. sorry, dude.
princeofpeace 0
Yeah man that's bogus.
Jellybones 0
How many of these kind of FMLs do we need, honestly?
PumpkinTarte 0
How many more people do we need to tell us what fml's we need and what fml's we don't need? Honestly!
MARIOHGALACKSIE 0
I agree. I mean, it's terrible that something like that happened, but I've seen several of these that are almost exactly the same.
omgitsafly 0
i think its so stupid when people comment on the FMLs being overused. we are eventually going to run out of FMLs if everything people see has "already been on the site". circumstances, even wording, change so technically its a new FML.