Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Cloudy_fml 0
Maybe she meant "last time"... =/
henrymeows 0
hoes... keep your pimp hand strong
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Comments (39)
Cloudy_fml 0
Maybe she meant "last time"... =/
missonedirection 6
It says "last night."
kipperin 18
Gosh,#50, you're a dumbass
Crow801 0
... Sorry man.
Saodar 0
That sucks, I'm sorry man
henrymeows 0
hoes... keep your pimp hand strong
impatientsnake 4
gotta keep them bitches in line
Darly_fml 0
If she told you about it she must have thought it *was* you... So either she got the days mixed up or ... something bizzarre happened with some other guy she thought was you, or maybe she just dreamt it! Better ask her about it.
greenman_fml 0
she's a common prostitute smeared with the paint of seduction.
csigabajnok 0
Tell her she can wait for that...
X_fml 0
Well... If you called her, she knew who she was talking to. She confused the days, that's all! You may think she was cheating if she called you and said that, because she could confused numbers. BUT if you called her, i don't think there's nothing to worry about.
ODEEZY 0
All i got to say is i hope you dont love her..... DONT LOVE HER!!!
thepainter 0
what a bitch