Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
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Top comments
random__user 0
You deserved it, you idiot. The puppy didn't though.
sexyx0sandyyy 0
awww! poor puppy!!! how cute/sad!
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Comments (359)
Je_mapelle 0
what the hell?! you couldn't look down before recklessly kicking something?! your damn fault..
not_ur_mexican 0
that is so ****** up.
mikaela33194 0
#7 Putting a dogs nose where it pees will actually encourage it to pee there more often, because dogs pee where they and other dogs have peed before. and # 31 The best practice for a puppy that is peeing out of fear is to not bop it's nose, but to immediately take the puppy or dog outside to where it should pee and encourage it to pee there. when it does praise it. And #76 Relax. neither what 7 or 31 suggested would classify as being cruel to an animal or animal abuse. Just not the best practices for yielding the results you want with training your dog.
notmuch 0
#85, "if you feel something on your skin you automatically slap at it its natural." I'm sure your boyfriend learned very quickly not to surprise you with his touch.
arglefoot 0
Ugh. Dogs.
mikaela33194 0
#85, I understand your point, if I feel something itchy I slap or itch at it mindlessly most of the time...but why would someone kick? The OP did not say I slapped at the mosquito.. the OP kicked...a PUPPY
cantth1nk0fnam3 3
when a puppy is near someone's legs the fur can tickle which feels like a mosquito
fresvik 0
why would you kick a mosquito?
vt_mruhlin 0
OK, a good pet owner should really be aware of where his puppy is. Be more careful and give him a steak or something. You're a moron, but he'll forget.
angel1495 0
poor puppy :[ i could understand how little puppy whiskers could feel like a mosquito... just give your puppy lots of lovin so he knows you're not mad at him! oh, and to #91, if you kick your leg to shake off the mosquito or use your other foot to get it off your leg, you could accidentally kick something else [in this case, a puppy].