Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML
Today, my little sister came up to me and said, "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML
Today, I went to a family gathering and was asked by multiple relatives why I was still single. Trying to lighten the mood, I joked that in fact I do have a secret admirer. My little cousin yelled out, "Is it your cat?" He was right, even though, come to think about it, I'm not sure my cat even likes me all that much. FML
Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML
Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML
Today, I was complaining to my best friend about my weird cousin and how annoying he is whenever I see him (which isn't often, thankfully). She replied, “Isn’t that my boyfriend you're talking about?” Turns out, yes. Yes, he is. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
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