Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Peter griffin doing this to Meg, anyone? Lol. What a douche thing to do.
woainishamu 21
That's just how he shows his love warmly.
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Comments (81)
olpally 33
Peter griffin doing this to Meg, anyone? Lol. What a douche thing to do.
Somuchart 3
Embrace the love.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well it's silent and deadly or loud and proud. Take your pick, we don't all get this opportunity
mirrorfrost 11
I thought the same exact thing when I read this! :O
science-teacher 15
squirts
eddeeezzyy 19
RIP Brian
jojimugo 20
That show is dead to me if Brian is dead
whiteboy896 9
Lol Brian is gonna come back, i just know it.
Blink_me26 21
"You're a smart fella Dad!" "And you're a fart smeller Meg!" *grabs head*
lilhellian 27
Y'all do realize that stewie will most likely use a time machine right?
mohamed_H 21
What a breathtaking welcome :)
Peachy2392 26
51, you do realize he destroyed his time machine and doesn't have the parts to fix it, right?
evan_7899 28
#61 there is an episode list of future episodes and Brian is coming back unless there is another dog with the name brian joining the Show and Cleveland is moving back to quohag. .. research before you run your mouth... and there is a family guy episode where they visit Springfield with the simpsons soon
inthedopeshow 17
61, you do realize that it's a ******* cartoon so if the baby can build a time machine once, he can find a way to do it again, right? Jesus Christ.
jojimugo 20
I did not realize family guy talk evoked so many emotions.
woainishamu 21
That's just how he shows his love warmly.
Ambient25 25
Yes, the kind of love that carries across the room.
mercifulbane 3
once you pay the bills you can fart too
reaxion 25
On the bright side, he held it in especially for OP, so at least he thought ahead! Awesome dad.
JoshuahColins 19
Oh that's nasty... (Cleveland voice)
\ 28
...I was reading your comment in Morgan Freeman's voice until I noticed the parenthesis at the end. Then I had to re-read it in Cleveland's voice. Thanks a lot #3. Buzzkill.
harryisangry 6
29 everybody knows that "that's nasty" is Cleveland's thing so I don't know why you'd assume it was Morgan freeman
ManInTheMachine 20
He wasn't being serious, dumbass.
HelloooooNurse 20
What a nice welcome home present.
crazytwinsmom 25
Oh the sounds and scents of home!
DistanceRunner94 9
Home sweet home
JtPv 14
Not sure if pun intended...
cryssycakesx3 23
I hate when people say "no pun intended" when it clearly was. like "literally"
jgmarines 4
Sounds like a stinky situation
Kyuzomi 12
Really? Not only did you HAVE to do that but the pun itself sounded so out of place. No one even says that phrase. At least some people shitty but really?
SauceySarah 30
Stop being so uptight. Just laugh it off and enjoy your stay at home.
HISNARF 10
Wow the memories FYL
Rainhawk94 27
Ooooh a fart, fyl. Just a fart, laugh it off and move on
Nurd4lyfe 7
Well that sure stinks
Nakoma_fml 10
Aw. . .he loves you!