Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
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Top comments
Moota 9
Cool dad.
jonnyblackless 6
UR DADS THE BEST XD
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Comments (134)
Qu1ks1lv3r 3
Does Wayne Brady have to choke a b#tch?
ChelseaFan817 0
Trolled by your dad OP. Funny man.
Joshoa123 16
Later that week.. "Today, I went to pick up my daughter from school by offering her money to get in the car. I asked the wrong kid. FML"
sandracore 15
reversed fmls suck
Joshoa123 16
you're correct.
ksisseck 0
ydi i hope you told you friends
gitarex 4
Haha ur dad is funny as ****!!
picturescrazy 24
Your dad is a creep. It would be funny if it were anyone BUT your dad. I'm way grossed out right now.
51194 3
It's funny BECAUSE it's her dad!
arioch_fml 20
If it's anyone other than her dad, or a family member than she's a prostitute, and wouldn't be able to convince people that she isn't.
clue_me_in 20
Nice sense of humor. Glad that you can take a joke.
schmalee 0
19-are u a ******* idiot. the guy was her dad, and he was playing a joke on her! a funny one at that! I'm sure your friends have good senses of humor! :)
Furnaceman 0
OMG your dad's a ******* parenting genius!
BloodyMary666 24
U didn´t ask him why he offered u money?