Today, I got a letter stating that now that I'm in my mid-twenties, I need to start getting cervical exams. The only people interested in getting anywhere near my vagina are doctors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML
Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML
Today, I got a mammogram, after feeling some discomfort. After the exam, I mentioned to my mother my doctor referred the test, because even though I'm still in my twenties, I have a family history of breast cancer. She told coworkers, friends, and family about my health condition. Now they all know. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
janfleury 19
The exam has nothing to do with sex. It is about cervical cancer. Get the exam so when you do (and you will) have sex you will be healthy and enjoy it.
neuronerd 29
I was also in the "started seeing the doctor before being sexually active" club. Don't worry about it. Plenty of people will be interested down the line, all that matters for you is what you're ready for and what you want. I'm sure you even have people interested now, but are unaware.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (46)
Ihavegas 22
hey a healthy ****** is better than none or a dead one..
DrafteeSelf 24
Dead ******?
fuckfuckityfuck 16
#1 is also know by his clan tag xxpussykiller69.
Ihavegas 22
are we related???
SevieCookie 14
And yet, when you are early twenties and you actually have a concern about that area, they don't allow/reject cervical smears....good job UK health system...good job :/ However, It's good they make sure to check at some point though.
Makifun 19
Really? Mine let me in Canada
cheshirecat13242 32
Step 1: develop a fetish for doctors. Step 2: Step 3: Profit!
george_s_4 32
It's better to wait to have sex than have it with some guys just because you want to. When you find the right person the sex will be amazing and you'll be very happy. If you just **** some guy(s) it's not gonna be as enjoyable
fakedsincerity 32
A lot of people enjoy causal relationships and one night stands. Being in a serious relationship for sex isn't for everyone and that's okay too. The whole "saving it for someone special" is one way to go, but not the only way and doesn't necessarily mean it'll be more enjoyable. Let's not shit on people who prefer casual sex over serious relationships, experimentation is fun! I experimented a whole bunch before settling down with my partner of 6+ years and it's ****** up how people ****-shame people who are just exploring their sexuality and just having fun (but remember to use protection and be safe!)
Welshite 40
#4: Just because you find "the one" does not mean they're an animal in bed. It's not like some magical switch goes off and they turn into a sex-god. Second, casual sex is simply casual. Some people are into it and some people aren't. Casual encounters do not guarantee bad sex. Now as to the actual FML, cervical exams are preventative exams much like a yearly physical. It also gives a lady a chance to talk with her doctor and get advice if she needs it.
TheMathMajor 26
I wish I had experimented more in college! But I'm a serial monogamist by nature and serious relationships just seem to be what I'm wired for. Whatever people are most comfortable with is what they should go for as long as they are safe.
george_s_4 32
I read the replies. I realize from those that I am wrong and I take back what I said
Nyattack 14
Wow, I have legitimately never seen somebody react that maturely after being contradicted on the Internet ! Well done !
TeacherTeacher 11
If you're not sexually active, you don't need cervical exams. Boys do have cooties. Wait for the right one.
fakedsincerity 32
Yes you do. Cervical/ovarian cancer can affect any woman regardless of sexual activity... I do think it's scarier for a virgin, but still worth it and necessary to check on your health. (:
skippydoda 32
I was a virgin for my first couple of exams. It was fine because the doctor explained everything and answered my questions about it. He also always had a female nurse there so I didn't have to ask for one.
finalyearsofhate 22
You're spreading false information. Women DO need cervical cancer screenings regardless of sexual activity. Cancer can happen to anyone.
connorhperkins 9
I'd be glad to help out
demix_fml 32
These examinations are really important and as for the sex it's better to wait .
MallowMistress 13
OP never said she hasn't had sex before, just that no one is interested currently.
LPac5295 27
Hey don't lose hope OP. Someone will come around sooner or later. Whether you want it to be casual or romantic, someone will turn up.
neuronerd 29
I was also in the "started seeing the doctor before being sexually active" club. Don't worry about it. Plenty of people will be interested down the line, all that matters for you is what you're ready for and what you want. I'm sure you even have people interested now, but are unaware.
graceh1211 20
don't worry op, and good luck with the smear. I hope the results are alright