Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon, I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
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Top comments
MaryJane232323 9
What did you think would happen? They'd all start singing like they do in princess movies?
YayorNay 8
You scared the shit out if them.
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Comments (130)
MaryJane232323 9
What did you think would happen? They'd all start singing like they do in princess movies?
nalia18 8
Wow its snowing allready???
bitchslapped22 14
They enjoyed every second of it
Keyman1212 14
Yes, and I would be very disappointed if they didn't.
Naomimi_fml 6
Or maybe they'd act like how they do in the movie "The Birds." We all know how that ends.
iAmPaul 49
25 - actually, I don't know how that movie ends, nor have I ever heard of it. I guess it was before my time? Anyways, please enlighten me? :D
Naomimi_fml 6
(the birds kill them) ;)
iAmPaul 49
33 - Ah thanks. :)
tjv3 10
Wow you really scared them shitless
graham11 14
Honestly.. OP you're a bird brain. Wow that was a terrible pun
RetardedComments 3
Should have had a V8.
MagicallyFat 12
Birds can't control their bladder. They need to be really light to fly so they just expell their waste out once it's alot. So it's either perfect timing or false.
a_cassie 4
they were angry birds.
alliebaba7 8
Omg you are so right lol i laughed harder when I saw your comment then when I saw the actual FMl
RissaLynne 8
You didn't have to scream at them. O.o They did nothing to you. YDI
boofgall 16
Yeah, but it's hilarious to scare birds anyway. :D
sillymcjews 0
let me guess... PETA?
NuTrees 9
No just someone who's sick of the oppression maybe. Who are we to deem ourselves superior over animals according to our standards. Animals are better at some things we can not begin to comprehend. It's sick because were trained to believe animals are below us. It's ok to scare the bird, it's just a bird. Though she wouldn't of done it of they were human.. And I ******* hate PETA. They don't know about what they preach. And the fact they pooped in neat rows is pretty sweet. anyone else thought that made things better?
laxmtl28 6
u suck
iAmPaul 49
Kinda obvious you deserved that one OP. :L
m0tl3ycru3 0
It's a little thing called karma
JTthePurpleNinja 5
They're plotting something, I just know it...
Phyre24 17
Time to go to the secret underground bunker with the years supply of food and to the people who dont have one (including myself) should "RUN FORREST RUN!"
YayorNay 8
You scared the shit out if them.
GirlWithName1324 0
Those poor things are probably scared shitless.
graham11 14
22- that joke was kinda shitty
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
Notice it's near wal mart and everything is weird in wal mart
heyhihello95 12
At least it was neat.
fuzzy4msymba 0
You are a genius!
caranina 15
that sucks but you kinda deserved it .
josejimenez012 0
You're hot :)
GasMaskKid13 0
Smooth move X-Lax .
JustinComments 3
That's a shitty situat- Jk that's not funny..