Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, my cat knocked the TV remote behind our heavy couch. I reached for it, got stuck halfway underneath, and had to call my roommate for help. She found me face-down on the carpet wearing one sock and asked if this was “an emergency or drugs?” FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
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Top comments
yrkamurka 4
Flying pussy
dinosaurfeces 4
Sounds like a "cat"astrophe.
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Comments (120)
Turner_22 0
You deserve it
Turner_22 0
The cat strikes back.:D
m0tl3ycru3 0
The OP deserves it for tossing their cat up in the air. There's no way that could possibly end well
boofgall 16
I hardly think they deserve it, op was startled, and it's the bodies reaction to jolt when startled.
KiddNYC1O 22
Op HELD it up. The tossing was inevitable.
docscientist 10
26 - holding =/= tossing.
aceman1992 9
at least op can say they got pussy flying at them.
yrkamurka 4
Flying pussy
LegitMaddie 0
Lmao u have a sick sick mind
thefaced 0
Lmfao that's the type of humor we need around here!
koolkat27 13
anytime theres a cat fml theres always that one perv who uses this as an excuse to make pussy jokes. smh
cruxx 0
Poor OP. I'm glad I can say I've never had a face full of.. Nevermind
SpruceDread4578 13
91- and...what's wrong with that?
yrkamurka 4
Woah woah, pussy is another word for cat. And IM the perv?
iAmPaul 49
I hate when that happens OP. Especially with kittens.
bitchslapped22 14
Does it happen with people too or something?
iAmPaul 49
Cats, as opposed to lighter, much more agile and easier to scare kittens. There IS a difference.
evilplatypus 39
And kittens generally have sharper, needle-like claws. A full-grown cat's claws will usually be a bit more blunted.
YayorNay 8
When you thought cats couldn't get worse. Air cat raids is no joke.
markrs 0
Why do people throw their cats...if I was scared I'd hold on tighter....
dinosaurfeces 4
Sounds like a "cat"astrophe.
danishbagel 3
Ba-Dum, Tsh!
YayorNay 8
Totes Original.
death_dolphin24 0
That's so not totes original.
milyfesux97 3
Me- ow!!
uffiewuffie 0
That's a furry situation
boofgall 16
-_-
RebekahBrooke 9
Nope.
gabrielbaby 9
That's what I said when I met your mom last night.
MaryJane232323 9
I hate when I suddenly throw my cat up in the air.
ppeanutbutter 1
ouch...
TheCarChanel 0
Ow