Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML
How about…
Today, my father told me to "go get a job." He has been unemployed for three years. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Snarky
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Mid-life crisis
Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML
Anger management
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Mirror mirror
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Top comments
Beaker318 11
Aaaaand it's time for him to get a new place to live.
Murilirum 23
That's terrible. Subtle response such as 'oh you too!' Would be more than appropriate.
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Comments (61)
Roythetickler 21
Kick him out
Alayon001 7
If he throws the bottles on the floor don't you have glass shards all over the floor???
Witchylady 18
Your dad is a bum. He needs to get a job and move out.
jeriaslovesyou 16
What a douche, don't listen to that crap. Just go out and make your way in the world.
Autism_Mummy 16
Kick his lazy alcoholic ass out of your place, I wouldn't put up with that shit from anyone.
lummiiss 3
so respond "bah! Get a real place!"
sparxva 12
Start charging him rent and tell him "as long as you're living under my roof you are going to live by my rules..." It seems only fair.
Jeason012 18
throw him out
Tiffany Herrera 4
It really is okay to not help your parents if they obviously aren’t trying. It sounds like he’s a piece of shit. No offense to you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way by anyone let alone your father.