Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML
Today, my father told me to "go get a job." He has been unemployed for three years. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
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Top comments
Beaker318 11
Aaaaand it's time for him to get a new place to live.
Murilirum 23
That's terrible. Subtle response such as 'oh you too!' Would be more than appropriate.
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Comments (61)
MaxG15 7
What a douche, sorry you have to deal with him, and at least you have a job.
WhackTheJackal 22
Kick him out, he should't be living with you if he isn't going to pay for his own living expenses.
drrobotnik1 18
grow a pair and throw him out on the street. locksmiths aren't that expensive, genius
TimeForPlanB 14
talking about parental guiding...
ThePols 11
They took err jerbssss!!
granCanyon 12
If you don't throw him out soon then you'll be stuck with him for years if not the rest of his life. Some people need a kick in the ass to change. Now that he knows you'll pay for everything he won't even try to find a job. Kicking him out will be beneficial for both of you.
MrCantgetright 4
your response; "you've got 30 days dad."
Glasshoney 9
My response would've been "Get OUT"....
TADspace 30
I bet your fake job makes real money. (Really poor money, but it's still real!)
copydude 7
After you Dad!