Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML
Today, my father told me to "go get a job." He has been unemployed for three years. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
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Top comments
Beaker318 11
Aaaaand it's time for him to get a new place to live.
Murilirum 23
That's terrible. Subtle response such as 'oh you too!' Would be more than appropriate.
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Comments (61)
CoGhostRider 31
I'd say getting rid of him is going to be a real job, he seems content.
Attacksloth 33
My father did the same thing minus the alcoholism for about two years. Lived in me and my wife's place, ate our food, and took the moral high ground breadwinning mentality whenever we got into a scuffle. Respect your parents, but don't take their shit if they clearly don't respect you. You can talk back to them, just try not to be belligerent about it. You're both adults now. Try to get him back on his feet, but know that it's up to him to make a change and to actually accept help.
engineerosaurus 26
Dad has made it pretty clear the only kind of help he will voluntarily accept is a handout.
Joshery 14
"At least I have one"
quickit 24
He can laugh all he wants but you're the one who has a job. Just beer with him until you can move out! :D
1dvos_grl3 21
dude, his dad lives in his place.
quickit 24
That's weird I never saw the ending of the FML. I stand corrected.
aimzskee 30
Sounds like you put up with a lot, Op.
samantha236le 17
No one remembers this FML? No one?? Not even a small memory of reading this? Hmm, maybe his other person could have the same job and have the same father that said that exact same thing.. than the other author of the other exact FML.
keyahkeyah 13
Almost seems like your dads a douche, lay off the beer.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Just a reminder that these types of people/families aren't just caricatures in movies...
Duriexp 20
What a ****.
Octosauce 8
Kick him to the curb. You're wasting YOUR money on food and beer for a person who is totally ungrateful and, might I add, a ********.