Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML
Today, my father told me to "go get a job." He has been unemployed for three years. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
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Top comments
Beaker318 11
Aaaaand it's time for him to get a new place to live.
Murilirum 23
That's terrible. Subtle response such as 'oh you too!' Would be more than appropriate.
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Comments (61)
fantasyworld 39
Kick him out, he's just using you.
Enslaved 38
Curious where he gets his beer money?
Sandsh8rk 36
Probably borrows money or gets his son to buy it.
cutelilscrafty 8
As long as you're paying taxes on your job, and it's feeding you and paying your bills, and paying for any animals (if you have pets), it's a real job.
rogwest 23
Throw his ass out
xKai_Axelx 12
oh, men.
OMG_132 9
Wow. At least he isn't your mother as my next statement would offend those who cherish their mother as do I. **** your dad!!
AverageJoey 18
I hope your kiosk sells scissors so you can give him some and tell him to cut it out.
Thorzix 23
Rofl laughed way more than I should have
worldclassrager 41
And you at least have a job...in any way shape or form it does what it is supposed to do
ezrajab 22
Damn that sucks sorry op. Maybe when he can have a intelligent conversation you should have a talk with him. I realize it may be hard but I hope it works out for the best. Good luck!
makaramiracles 18
I know he's your dad-- but damn, if you're of legal age, you deserve your own place. Wish you luck OP.