Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend that I once fooled around innocently with another girl. He’s now trying to force me to "explore my bisexuality". Not because he thinks it’s a healthy expression, but he thinks it’s "hot" and wants to set up threesomes. FML
Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. Later on, his mom pulls me aside and tells me to back off, saying he will never marry someone like me and he should be with a nice girl like his ex. They broke up after he found her in his bed with his roomate. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
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Top comments
amiemariej 0
when you act like a bitch, expect to be treated like one
hateplow 3
win. jealousy games are weak.
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Comments (146)
Alexandriamuahh 0
aha suckz 4 u !!! :p
thelastavailable 13
exactly what I thought
bswole 1
heres some advice dont be a dick and expect to get what you want
esosi 0
wow
dmantheplaya 0
thats what you get biotch.
kombucha_fml 8
that is so mean! and "hoping for jealousy" is not THAT bad
lostfaithinpppl 19
Not THAT bad???? Wow! You have so much to learn about what a mature relationship is ...
nswan 5
is he already assuming you're gonna sleep with him?? if so, do it.
JShoopman 0
ydi
ritchgirl1 0
LOL
Ninjafriends 1
You sound like an awesome girlfriend. You're a b*tch and you're bad in bed? You'd be better be rich and a good cook.
40ozToFreedom 0
#3 best response ever!