Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the pleasure of having a kidney stones removal procedure where they hammer your kidneys to break up the stones. Afterwards, the doctor called my wife over the intercom to come to back to the waiting room. She freaks out, runs back, and the doctor says, “I just wanted to show this stone. Cool huh?" FML
Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML
Today, after I'd given myself a week off work for my birthday, and my alcoholic sister decided she needed to go to rehab, which then hijacked the whole week for her crisis, at 4:30 am, the morning I'm supposed to return to work, I end up in the ER with a first time kidney stone. The next thing I know, she's in the ER for an injury. FML
Today, my girlfriend's "sheltered" 15-year-old niece is sharing our tiny home. Shortly after she arrived, I started to pass a kidney stone. I've had 3 hours of vomiting and cold-sweating while pissing acidic blood and a stone in absolute agony. The niece is "traumatized". FML
Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML
Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML
Today, I ended up in the hospital for the fourth time since beginning of January due to kidney stones. FML
Today, I was passing a kidney stone. I had to go to the ER but had no one to take me, so I drove myself. They made me wait 3 hours because it was suspicious that someone in "so much pain" could drive. It was the largest stone that doctor had seen in his career. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for wrenching pains in my abdomen. It turns out I have the largest "non removable" kidney stone my doctor has ever seen. It's the size of a fucking walnut. I have to pass the thing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You probably shouldn't have laced her Vicodin with LSD.
hippiechick96 3
what kind of pills did you give her? xD
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Comments (109)
chronicfiend 0
lawl dats funi
cole86 0
lawl. sometimes the best advice
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
It was on fire!
doctor_itsmylife 3
maybe it's HER couch and she wanted to mark her teritory
summersizzle 0
maybe that's the only way he can get her to take her pants off.
persianjr1 7
i dont know about you but im trying to figure out what she was hallucinating about. :3
14MEDIC14 0
wrong pills dumbass
BrightSidegirl82 0
:d
deannamarie12 0
Haha, that's kinda funny :3 But then again, she couldn't help hallucinating.
EffinToofer 3
YDI, dude. If she is indeed passing a kidney stone, then she needs a doctor, not random pills that can get you both put in jail.
Rainbow35 6
38- Some people can react really badly like that to even just regular painkillers...
Me_iz_a_Bboy 0
YDI for having pills.
breakofdawn1 0
but random pill that can put you in jail are the best
iSitt 0
ydi for buying cheap meds over the Internet
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
He bought from PetMeds...
Dr_PooPingDung 0
38 ur a bitch shutup, now im going to go smoke a bowl of.. MARIJUANA BITCH WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO BOUT THAT!?
super_ella21 0
Oh, the joys of kidney stones.
cole86 0
take that opportunity and have rough sex with her
grigz 0
and then treat her to a nice dinner, right?!
cole86 0
yes. she won't remember the sex, she'll be happy with him, and they can have more sex!
super_ella21 0
and then tie her in a peanut sack and throw her in the river..right?
cole86 0
come on sirin!! can u at least tell me wat I did wrong now?!?!
hippiechick96 3
what kind of pills did you give her? xD
quaddrummer93 0
That's what I was wondering. They sound fun
iSitt 0
ydi for buying cheap meds over the Internet
Ninjahiga 27
Don't assume
DocBastard 40
You probably shouldn't have laced her Vicodin with LSD.
Drummer389000 0
good one!
Iluvbeinamommy 0
Where does it say that he gave her vicodin?
J352SAURUS 30
Kidney stones are painful. Vicodin is a strong pain killer. It's a reasonable guess, and plus DocBastard is a doctor.
OnlyAvailableID 28
Was your wife mumbling something like "Gotta save the town, it's on rainbow fire!"
tommyboy1 0
OMG
cole86 0
come on sirin!!! yd I get moderated thi time??
cole86 0
now I'm sad.
30STMluvva 0
oh wow... make sure you check what pills they are next time LMAO!!
Jimboom 12
That sounds like some rather good stuff there. Pass dat shit over my way!!!
ScreamAimFire 0
damn i want some too, peeing on couches is so awesome!
Jimboom 12
Only thing better than peeing on the couch is taking a crap in the freezer. ;-)
Bosia 0
You forgot about masturbating on the dining table! ...Too far?
Jimboom 12
It's only too far if Christmas dinner is on said table. Otherwise it's all good baby. ;-)