Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
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Top comments
bibbster18 11
Hey man, you never know maybe she likes that kind of stuff.
gribbles 12
Haha! Force of habit. I constantly find myself yelling corner when walking around corners no matter where I'm at.
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Comments (246)
SataN201 0
AnaRChy
the_true_batman 10
I love this FML. I hope she has a sense of humour, if not, then is she really the girl for you? I worked at a gas station for a couple summer's between university, and I switched off between working the till and pumping gas. One time, several months since I last worked there, I was filling my car up with gas and a car pulled up, and I walked over to the car to ask them how much they wanted. Luckily I realized that I didn't work there and stopped before I made it to the person.
Enslaved 38
Where I live, it's self serve and you must pay before pumping. Do you also have to pay first at a full service gas station? If not, what happens if someone is short of cash?
djinnsnme 19
I think he means that since he also works as a tiller part of his job is to ask how much a person wants and he almost did that at a gas station.
the_true_batman 10
People don't need to pay before filling. It's like a lot of businesses, for example, restaurants. What do you do if people don't have enough money at a restaurant? It rarely happens, but we'd sometimes hold their licence, or just copy their information down.
RedPillSucks 33
depends on the state. I think NJ has full serve and the attendant must pump the gas.
Pikachu17 13
I bet you were hoping you could push her head a different time ;)
yoshikatshomoto 2
That's kind of cute. Lol
Snazzy_Snaz 17
You can explain that it was a new kinky kind of **** where a cop arrests a dirty girl and they get it on
Beezy1216 3
Wow, sorry op. I hope she understood though. Gotta learn to separate work from your personal life. Go on more dates, practice makes perfect right?
Banoi 2
It's a habit not your fault
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Well at least she wasn't reaching over your lap because that's what you call the moment of truth.
tonijulie 20
That's so funny. Made my day :)
mtndoc 16
She just might like the fact that you were trying to protect her.