Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
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Top comments
bibbster18 11
Hey man, you never know maybe she likes that kind of stuff.
gribbles 12
Haha! Force of habit. I constantly find myself yelling corner when walking around corners no matter where I'm at.
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Comments (246)
beckyxD 13
I'm waitin' for the FML that says "Today, I went on a date. Everything was going well...until it was time to get into his car and he pushed my head down like a criminal getting into a police car. FML." xD
annagilbert 6
role play?
argenyorkie 11
I want a follow up!
Longshott 4
What, no cavity search?
igetitincum2win 11
Your just lucky she doesnt get arrested alot,resist arrest and "out of habit" kick you in the face from bringing back memories of being put in the cop car.
rebelliousshroom 12
Haha, that's hilarious! Imagine her confusion followed by sudden understanding of what just happened. I hope you saved that one well OP, you could have easily.
mottomotto 9
if I was her, ill let u do whatever you want with me but under one condition...you have to promise me you will use weapons. :)
lilponkbunnies 4
This is the best thing i've seen all day
lylid 2
Aw, that's cute! In a weird way.
daybar12 8
At least you opened the door for her! No one does that anymore. This isn't even bad. I'd think it was funny if my date did this.