Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
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Top comments
bibbster18 11
Hey man, you never know maybe she likes that kind of stuff.
gribbles 12
Haha! Force of habit. I constantly find myself yelling corner when walking around corners no matter where I'm at.
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Comments (246)
dolceandkabana 1
If I had a dollar for every time another person asks "did you put her in the back seat?" I'd have $6
CamcAmIaM 10
This is not a new FML
metalwolf 17
When you get used to a certain activity because of your job, it tends to influence how you do things outside of work. I noticed that i have a habit of checking the lock on my door at my apartment the same way i check the locks at work.
keeper801 8
I loooove this. =]
acetheone 8
your life will never stop sucking mr. pig.
TcheQ 12
Hater's gonna hate. How's that life of prejudice working out for you.
TcheQ 12
I misread the first part and assumed he was sitting when he started to push her head down :S
midcoder007 0
astro boy!!!
midcoder007 0
astro boy!!!
hey_noob_owned 0
Shit dude, it makes my night already!
elikaas 10
Haha when I read this I literally laughed out loud! I can just imagine it!!