Today, I learned my ex-girlfriend has been going around to all of my friends and telling them that I wanted to fuck dead people. No wonder nobody has been talking to me for the past 3 months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my friends thought it would be funny to tell my psycho clinger of an ex that I still like her. It had only been a few months since she finally stopped stalking me. FML
Today, I got spammed and bitched at by my ex-girlfriend from high school because she found out I didn't even have feelings for her. It was 3 years ago. FML
Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML
Today, I finally found out what happened to my ex-girlfriend from my high school days, since a few years ago she suddenly stopped using social media and never returned my texts or calls to see how she was doing. Turns out she died, and no one bothered to inform me. FML
Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML
Today, I ran into one of my exes, and she seemed straight up shocked to see me. She said, "OH MY GOD! You're alive?" like I was a suicide risk or something. Nope, turns out her last 3 boyfriends before me were so unstable that when she cheated on them, they killed themselves shortly after. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend's psycho ex-girlfriend has been stalking me on social media for the past few months, when she contacted me asking why I was holding hands with him in a picture from over two years ago. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I lost my virginity to a few months ago was actually in a relationship the whole time. How did I find this out? His now ex-girlfriend called to yell at me. FML
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Top comments
stickyface 17
Just tell everyone that she was the dead person in bed and now you've got it out of your system.
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Comments (1)
stickyface 17
Just tell everyone that she was the dead person in bed and now you've got it out of your system.