Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I really tried to talk to my wife how I feel that she hates me and is with me out of pity. She denied it all but by the end of the conversation mentioned she wants a divorce. FML
Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML
Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML
Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML
Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML
Today, I told my wife that she gets 100% of me and I keep nothing from her. She told me she doesn't want it and that I should get counseling. FML
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Top comments
robertlovespi 3
Throw cookies back at her? That's how we solve things in my household.
jenchen 0
Milk solves everything (:
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Comments (80)
jenchen 0
Milk solves everything (:
azcardinals1307 2
Milk. it does a body good.
enonymous 9
Whole milk or 1%? if it's that Soy shit divorce her
DynamicDave 11
Sounds like your attempt at reconciliation was an udder failure.
Grimmerie 31
i agree with 11. maybe it's just time to moove on. instead of cow-ering, grab the bull by the horns and head to greener pastures.
asocial_much 6
I see what you did there.
puppiesandrainbo 1
3- It's so damn hot today... Milk was a bad choice.
Daralea 21
Oh please, 10. Soy is MUCH tastier. Besides with about 25% of white americans and 75% of international adult populations estimated to be lactose intolerant, it would be much more considerate if it were a soy-based beverage.
Daralea 21
-double post-
False_Stupidity 42
#51 Your statistics must be part of that 80% of them that are made up.. Seriously 75% of the entire worlds population? of the 50+ people I know personally, only 1 is lactose intolerant.
Daralea 21
That's strange. Because of the 50+ adults I know, 13 of them (excluding myself) are lactose intolerant, 7 of them aren't, and with the rest I don't discuss gastrointestinal events/don't drink milk products anyway. Your statistics isn't the statistics of the world. citation: -Lactose Intolerance, Journal of the American College of Nutrition, Vol. 19, No. 90002, 165S-175S (2000) by Tuula et al. -estimates from National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK) of the NIH (USA) -and a review by Gudmand-Hoyer E in published on The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition (1994)
Daralea 21
Edit: WHY DOES IT KEEP DOUBLE POSTING!!!?
ReynshineCutting 10
Regardless of the lactose intolerance rate, soy milk tastes like ball sweat in comparison to real milk. If you use it in cereal you don't really notice, but if you drink it it tastes terrible. I'll keep my liquid cow fat thank you.
crispy174 7
Shut the **** up 58 no one cares!!!!!
Daralea 21
Apparently someone did enough to comment on it. I think you missed a few exclamation marks there though. I for one find Soy milk delicious...except in coffee, that's just disgusting.
TrollinYourMom14 3
That's code for: Who gave you permission to speak?!
happyabby123 0
Got milk?
robertlovespi 3
Throw cookies back at her? That's how we solve things in my household.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Especially with the Closing in of 2012 ...
dragonfly77904 1
They still make milk in a carton?
robertlovespi 3
Where the he'll do you live? All it comes in is a carton or jug.
dragonfly77904 1
I only see it in a jug...I think
awagh666 14
No, its only packed in a carton. Milk is made in boobies
scrapmetal58 9
Where I'm from milk comes in bags. No lie. I don't drink milk however.
dragonfly77904 1
That's weird
perdix 31
#20. Here, too, I guess, and some do call them "fun bags," but I prefer calling them *******, boobs or gazongas.
ikickgingers 15
We still have glass bottles at certain stores; Byrne dairy, being one of them.
hunterjumper88 8
where I live milk comes in bags.
ollie179 21
No need for marriage counselling! It sounds like it would be better to go straight to divorce...
ThreeSheetsGone 12
There's still a chance that their marriage could work. It's when dinner plates start flying that divorce is a feasible option.
stacianichole 2
WHY do people around here just jump right to divorce?
ThreeSheetsGone 12
47- They like losing half their shit.
kcmjlopez 0
Can't you see that's effort on his part? Poor guy...
BD_Swingin 0
Cause bitches don't get less crazy with age.
ljcarranza 16
she's the man in the relationship huh?
rocker135 0
Got milk?
diidiimi 10
Healthy relationship you seem to have there.
Mercedes16 7
At least it wasn't canned fruit or something.
Fatalist_ 2
"Got milk?"
MainPrism 16
She's psycho bro, just leave...