Today, after undergoing a rigorous diet and exercise program, I was proud of losing 65 lbs in 3 months. When my favorite client saw me gleaming from my results, she loudly exclaimed that, “all life is sacred.” She assumed I'd had an abortion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I officially completed my weight loss journey, only for my wife, who'd previously threatened to divorce me if I didn't lose weight, to tell me that she realized she liked me better when I was fat and that "you don't know what you have until it's gone." FML
Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML
Today, after losing five pounds from being sick, my first customer at work greeted me with, “Aaaahhhh, you’re expecting!” I’m not pregnant. I guess I didn’t lose my gut. FML
Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML
Today, it's my sixth month of working out 5 days a week, watching what I eat while my family eats like kings, and only losing 2lbs. It's also the day husband said he misses my 20 year-old body and no longer finds me attractive, but that's okay because he "loves me anyways and it's good to know where we stand." FML
Today, I’ve worked hard to lose ten kilos. It took daily workouts and walking 10 kms a day to make the weight finally move, and I’m the fittest I’ve been in years. My mum, after having not seen me for a while, says in front of everyone during the holidays, “Wow, those injections have worked for you!” FML
Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML
Today, I visited my old job to pick up some paperwork. Since leaving over a year ago, I’ve lost over 60lbs, but I’m currently 6 months pregnant. Not a single person believed that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML
Today, I proudly showed off my new body, after losing 80 pounds. My life-long best friend immediately uninvited me to her upcoming wedding, and won't explain why. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
That would have been a pretty late term abortion to lose that amount of weight! And if that were the case then that would generally mean there was either a miscarriage or it was a medically necessary abortion. Either way, shame on her.
RichardPencil 32
You should have said, "Yours isn't" and then strangled her to death with your bare hands. Ironically, of course.
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Comments (5)
anjo_ 8
If the client is not vegetarian or vegan, then she should stfu! How dare she eat an animal killed to be feasted upon?
TwoBytesCarley 27
That would have been a pretty late term abortion to lose that amount of weight! And if that were the case then that would generally mean there was either a miscarriage or it was a medically necessary abortion. Either way, shame on her.
RichardPencil 32
You should have said, "Yours isn't" and then strangled her to death with your bare hands. Ironically, of course.
emmalou 19
Can you share the program?