Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML
Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML
Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML
Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML
Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML
Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML
Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML
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Top comments
killak41 9
Maybe if you put on a little more glitter...
Lanceeden 12
I find it funny his fml name is anonymous. I know his true identity....STEVE. -dramatic chipmunk stare-
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Comments (229)
lmaoatall 6
Show him Christmas future, a picture of you shoving your foot up his ass. Thinking about it, why wait. Make it Christmas present. Do it tiny Steve. Make Timmy proud.
All_Blacks 2
Nice boss you got there
dansco 25
That seemed like a waste of time! Should've created a voodoo doll instead lol
Seduisant 7
You've got a great boss, Steve.
bubo_fml 11
"No one looks good in brown lipstick!" - Frank Zappa
sidkid008 0
Someone is a dick
drawmesunshine 17
Yeah, OP's a dick; he won't get out of his boss' ass! Wait...
Steve95401 49
Do a kick-ass job in your work and get your nose out of your boss' ass. That is how OP will get ahead.
GhostlyGhoulish 1
Dude, was it you who wrote this fml?
Steve95401 49
#121 - no, it wasn't me. I work in government and we don't get bonuses.
BlueBug94 4
Wow what an asshole (your boss)
xSorry_fml 10
Your boss isn't your friend. I don't give cards to people who aren't my friend. I also rarely tell my friends to **** off, but tell people I don't know all the time. I like your boss for telling it like it is kiss ass.
geegee09 6
At least you tried?