Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML
Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML
Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML
Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML
Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML
Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML
Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML
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Top comments
killak41 9
Maybe if you put on a little more glitter...
Lanceeden 12
I find it funny his fml name is anonymous. I know his true identity....STEVE. -dramatic chipmunk stare-
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Comments (229)
jewebb92 5
Cool boss
Lanceeden 12
I find it funny his fml name is anonymous. I know his true identity....STEVE. -dramatic chipmunk stare-
SpikedKnuckles 8
If Steve wasn't such a Kiss ass it wouldn't of happened.
keepcaImcarryon 0
If your last name was Jobs, this would have been the other way around.
hackaypreeseh 2
you're still a c*nt steve, go f*ck your snake.
angrymexican 8
Yes let's all blame it on Steve and ignore the obvious....Alquaeda.....
shadystyle 6
sounds like a fun boss
bearnblue 0
Thats mondays for ya! Better try Fridays... We all remember Rebecca Blacks song don't we?
mirag 0
I'm sure Steve isn't his real name, just a generic name to insert in this fml
youcunthole 0
I used to make Christmas cards, then I took an arrow to the knee.
AdamBasebal69 0
Today, I told that creepy Steve guy to F off... LIKE A BOSS
cruxx 0
The arrow to the knee jokes became REAL old REAL fast
shadystyle 6
me gusta
Jonkbaby 23
maybe he was Jewish
BigRigX 2
*have* happened
youcunthole 0
108 in guessing you made jokes about taking an arrow to the knee..... Then you took an arrow to the knee
ananonymousguy 0
Yea Steve, **** off.
LolFMLnot 10
You didn't get it , he said "**** me Steve"
WhiteJoker_fml 7
#66: Unless of course his job was designing the company christmas card! Then it would be a dick-move by his boss.
mbuck87 19
Is your name Steve, or Dwight Schruct? WTF who does that?
Discombobulated9 12
I guess your boss doesn't like people brown nosing him.
Babyseal420 7
90 No. His name is Steve.
Waffl3z 8
#96. Skyrim Reference?
bluevayero 42
the boss is ok. the ass trying to elevate by kissing asses is the prob here
Forlorn420 9
Shame. You'll get em next time tiger!
skittihorse 8
What is wrong with you?
SillyFart 7
Not much you??
Dark_Angel003 0
I dont think that was her goal...
RadioOctopus 16
i love you
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If another man gave me a card id probably think he was coming onto me O.o
zombicidal 11
have at em buckaroo
WinMan 7
His boss needs to take his man card while he's at it
gregorrok1 0
This reminds me of the scene in "Christmas Vacation" when he brings a present to his boss and his boss doesn't even know his name. Then he gets the "gift that keeps on giving" with a membership to the jelly club...
gregorrok1 0
Please tell me most everyone has seen that movie...
ohmandapants 17
86- don't flatter yourself.
Isabelana 5
I'm sorry, that sucks. What an asshole. :|
jwade11 12
Kinda sounds like you were sucking up to him .... I'd get pissed off too and tell you to **** off as well.
leogirl95 12
I'm confused...how does he deserve it?
crazyrunnergirl 7
He seems like a nice guy ...
EatnBeef 7
Thems fightin words OP!!
clcbjj31 0
160- Are you looking to defend yourself, or do some damage?
obnum 19
I think he knew you were doing it just to get a bonus lol ;) Nice try though
wegetrz 14
Your boss definitely knew it wasn't coming from your heart dude..ydi for trying to abuse the spirit Christmas in your selfish antics.
Isoldael 27
57- I don't care if people are being nice for their own, selfish reasons - being nice is being nice :). Besides, there is no such thing as selflessness - even if you get nothing in return, being nice still makes you feel good about yourself :)
FYLDeep 26
Was he a Jew or something? I could see how that would be offensive.
crazyrunnergirl 7
How is a seasonal greetings card offensive? It represents all holidays
FYLDeep 26
He did say Christmas bonus. I think that shows at least a little bias on his part.
Joanlysn 0
Well most people celebrate Christmas in America so it is not uncommon for someone to give a "Christmas Card".
rhysfucker 24
Maybe a Hanukkah Haiku would have been better.
Joanlysn 0
Haha wtf 39 how did this become Jewish Japanese
kelissa_fml 16
Wow. I'm Jewish and that took a while to register... /: (number 7)
Philliesfan9391 3
Where did you get the japanese part?
FYLDeep 26
Actually, he was probably an atheist. I think it's more common for them to flip their shit when things don't fit into their perfectly secular world. I'm probably a bit biased though after seeing a couple videos of that Amazing Atheist douche-bag on YouTube.
Shrike 24
^ Do you stereotype races and sexes of humans with that mouth too?
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
#BUTTSEXWITHBIRDMAN
FYLDeep 26
I don't have to stereotype the ones that act like douche-bags. I can dislike them by their own merits. I'm not against any group simply because of their religion. That guy in particular makes me want to kick him in the head. There's a lot of Christian's that irritate me too though, but usually not to the point where I feel violent. Christians tend to be against that type of stuff due to their beliefs, but then again there are the hypocritical ones that need to piss off. The KKK is filled with "Christians" after all, even though they're an organization that goes out of their way to shit on what the bible actually teaches.
Shrike 24
So what you're saying is religious and nonreligious people both have assholes regardless of their beliefs, BUT then you say atheists are more likely to be assholes? Why? How? Based on what? You're either trolling or you're just realllllyyyy stupid.
FYLDeep 26
I think Christians would try to hide their inner asshole a little more, because acting like a douche-bag goes against what they believe. Atheists aren't limited by this, because they don't believe in anything. All in all I figure asshole tendencies are universally distributed among all people. It's just a matter of who's willing to display it more.
MrSassypants 34
105 I believe everyone has assholes. I know it was a mistake but I just couldn't help myself.
ohsheet 8
hahahahah what a bitch
maninthebox11 8
More of the dude is a pussy for making a card for his boss.
morendav 2
**** or gtfo
CryMoreFMLs 15
166 - You GTFO ******' nolife shitbag wannabe.
Unstoppabl3 0
What a douche
kirklandt 0
Amazing boss you have, what did you write in the card?
killak41 9
Maybe if you put on a little more glitter...
criminalmindsfan 0
Awe come on, a man's gotta have his glitter :)
flockz 20
i'd rather mine not be shot out of a cannon.
VDubbGrrl 4
No glitter. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world... That shit just spreads everywhere and never goes away!