Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML
Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML
Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML
Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML
Today, I got a lot of tips at work, but little did I know our boss takes it out of our paychecks. FML
Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML
Today, my manager did that thing where he gave me a performance-based bonus last month, but deducted the bonus from this months pay. He didn’t even try to hide it, it said in plain English "Amount deducted for previous performance bonus." FML
Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill the sheet out. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
For his birthday, get him a picture of a gift card to his favorite restaurant. :P
Faff 20
Is your boss Michael Scott?
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Comments (52)
hexo21 13
You can just say oh you're welcome with a nice pie to the ace
larrena2377 26
Then probably get fired...great idea
TheTacoMan 24
Why A pie to the face? Maybe a bullet to the head! Then, You won't get fired because he will be dead
zandalee 20
I think it's time to take your meds Tacoman
cassieperiodbee 14
Jerk! He shouldn't make promises that he can't keep.
Demig0d6 14
At least it's something
LibertySteak 7
Bosses make promises they can't keep ALL the time!
Faff 20
Is your boss Michael Scott?
Palirose 22
Im sorry #3 apparently not everyone understand The Office references. D:
91hayek 31
Haha I was thinking the same thing. He might try to cancel Christmas as well. Interestingly, I wonder what that makes OP? Since OP is here on FML complaining about it I'd guess OP is tech savvy Ryan.
rockydify 22
This was exactly my thought too!
shudson186 17
I completely agree!
mydadpulledout 17
Haha this made me think of Christmas Vacation's "jelly of the month club" scene, but Michael Scott works just as well
mcm_3 16
"You're welcome"
Spyderbane 10
I think we, should start an Anti-Grammer Nazi Movement on FML )not bad spelling( *youre'
bluucat 17
What a jackass.
gracehi 33
For his birthday, get him a picture of a gift card to his favorite restaurant. :P
megstiel 16
Be sure to laminate it for effect. Being on the internet, I pray I used the correct form of "Effect/Affect".
DropTheDaggerxx 31
You did, #14. Affect is usually the verb form of the word, which wouldn't have applied there. Effect was was right!
sugar94_fml 17
That's just unfortunate.
xblaine 17
What a dick
schadenfreud 6
since he signed them, learn to forge his signature and approve your own paid leave
Mauskau 36
My entire company received thank you cards, saying they didn't have enough money to give us bonuses. This was followed by an email telling us the company made a couple billion dollars profit last year.
91hayek 31
For my money's worth that card should be made from parchment from the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Magna Carta or the American Declaration of Independence. It should be written on with pure gold ink and delivered to me by a very rare kind of owl.
more4me 27
#12 That's a huge FML right there. FYL.
Wolf87535 4
The professional equivalent of the middle finger....