Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML
Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML
Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML
Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML
Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML
Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML
Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
killak41 9
Maybe if you put on a little more glitter...
Lanceeden 12
I find it funny his fml name is anonymous. I know his true identity....STEVE. -dramatic chipmunk stare-
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (229)
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for spending days on a Christmas card for your boss.. Are you in kindergarten calling your teacher your boss?
yourlifesfucked 0
'cause a lot of kindergarten teachers tell their students to '**** off'. Totes, brah.
LukaInTheSky 3
He also deserves it for calling it a 'seasonal greeting card'
Joanlysn 0
That's what happens when you kiss ass. if you wanna a christmas bonus work hard, If it was that simple everyone would be doing it...
GrahamAker 3
Eh you shouldn't be a dick. You had too do something.
kateheartswaffle 0
Just start bawling; enjoy your unemployment.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Sign his cell number up for as many 'paid alerts' online as you can, report his credit cards stolen (if you have access to his vital information), arrange to have his home 're landscaped' during a workday when he's. It home, report that his car 'may' be used in any recent illegal activity, etc. (these are just a few select ideas, your creativity may vary) Have some 'holiday' fun with him. Be sure to wish him Seasons Greetings.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Of course you should never really do any of these things, but it's lovely to think about.
Joanlysn 0
That's how people get fired, great psychopath advice there.
RadioOctopus 16
evil genius in the making
AlikeSeeker9 10
Yah very good idea unless everything gets traces right back to you so not only do you lose your jobs but you go to jail. If he gets tracked down of course with the computer logs and all that retracing back to him. Very good ideas though.
criminalmindsfan 0
Well I think it sounds fun, Merry Christmas!
stewpididiot 11
Oh, Capitan O... I LIKE your style !!! That ***** right out of the Book of Revenge !!
ohmandapants 17
Well Steve, maybe if you didn't keep trying to have your head up his ass, he would like you more. Some people don't like having someone constantly kissing ass for approval. (and it sounds like that's what you're doing). Grow a backbone, maybe then your boss would have respect for you... Sorry 'bout the card though, must have been something if you spent DAYS on it.
ninjuh_wingman 29
You know what would've been funny? If your name wasnt Steve.
omgcookeys 15
Well, isn't he delightful?
YummiGummi 0
asshole boss ya got there
wooley29 8
At least he knew your name!