Today, after having my jaw wired shut for 2 months, I finally got to eat. During the first bite of my sandwich I pulled my jaw out of place. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I lost a tooth and got my jaw wired shut after my toddler managed to break my jaw by whacking me with a plastic toy. Hello at least 8 weeks of being unable to talk while only eating meals that have been thoroughly blitzed into a liquid form first. FML
Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML
Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML
Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I woke up from my wisdom tooth surgery… while they were still sawing my jaw. I had such a bad panic response that they also cut my lip, so I have stitches inside and outside of my mouth, as well as the haunting crackle of bone being removed from my skull stuck in my head. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, after finally working there long enough for medical and dental insurance to kick in, my employers decided we should part ways. Then, while I was eating dinner, my crown popped off. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML
Today, my idiot husband broke his jaw and had to have it wired shut. I just caught him trying to fix it in his shed because he cut the wire with bolt cutters so he could, of all things, eat a steak before it went bad, then tried to close his jaw again with fishing line. FML
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Top comments
track69 3
wow that's terrible I'm sorry
scottovious 0
That sucks. Jaw pain is horrid. So Sorry, I hope it gets better...
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Comments (104)
Battledog5006 0
subway FTW
TalkSick 2
quiznos. nuff said.
ericownz101 0
**** quiznos and their overly crusty mouth tearing bread
sammy92 0
subway = win!
pickles1994 18
subway the best
ThatGuyYouDontKn 0
subway surpassed McD's on popularity in the past year according to Yahoo! news. So Subway = Win
cheex87 0
if you live in any of the cities in California where there's a beach hut, then you'll know that that's the best sub place ever! with over 20 different types of beer on tap it makes subway and quiznos look like your local chuckee cheese!
denvan 0
Jersey's Mikes Subs
sammieInsanityy 0
taco bell FTW <3
Jackmangold 0
women <3 theyre professionals
egginmegan 0
I'm having subway for my birthday. Because of this, I know I have made the right choice. >:D.
aleclikestacos 8
number 34, is so right, my parents bring me leftovers from the restaurant you're probably talking about
MichaelGood 0
Subway for life!
Joshwarrior 39
@iphon Sydney can be a girl or guys name. Just wanted to let you know :)
track69 3
wow that's terrible I'm sorry
jrsgreenfire257 0
Its impossible to not eat for 2 months.
Somedood117 0
maybe he had tubes go into his stomach
Jasmine143 0
You drink all your food.
poopy56 0
why would u ever get ur jaw wired shut
i13Zero 5
Because he broke his jaw, think. i broke my jaw but luckily, i didnt have to get it wired. I had to eat cut up bread and yogurt for a month though >.<
dannyboy66 7
Bitch was a step forward then you hes breaking your jaw so you cant eat no more sammichs
scottovious 0
That sucks. Jaw pain is horrid. So Sorry, I hope it gets better...
Ademus 0
Wonder how you dislodged it the first time....
I_R_Genius 3
Maybe she had a really bad overbite that required surgery to move it forward. I had to go through it.
phatdaddy62 23
Sucking My Huge ****! OK Sirin. Go ahead and mod me. I couldn't pass it up. Too easy.
phatdaddy62 23
Sucking My Huge ****! OK Sirin. Go ahead and mod me. I couldn't pass it up. Too easy.
sofiaxxcreeper 0
it's disturbing that ur so old and still say that,when it probobly doesn't even work "down there" 0.0
ktdad07 0
Actually, the "too easy" ones should be passed up. I mean that in terms of comments and sexual partners.
Southerndatageek 2
Sucks to be you dude!
IphonFML 6
awwww:( i was getting excited that u could give me a bj again ;(
Ho11oway 0
what if it's a guy?
EatnBeef 7
he would still take it
sydneynault99 7
um nicee abs ? ksick .
IphonFML 6
umm nice bum? kcool
WTSchool 0
Obviously it's a girl. Nice job checking the gender.
crackpot1217 0
F u
SoloAutotunE 17
here we see the elusive **** Boi in his natural habitat.
MyMuse7 0
:-(
RockstarRN 10
Wow! That sucks!!!
FYLDeep 26
That's awful. I couldn't imagine having to deal with that. It's hard enough for me to maintain my weight as it is, let alone gain it. Having a jaw wired shut would be hell.
FeistyKitten 3
Screw subway's tiny flat cold tasteless crap that I could make at home for a fourth of the price!
lil_ham1644 29
What does this have to do with subway? Maybe she did make it at home