Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
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Top comments
poopy910 8
That is terrifying.
br0ccoli 15
Creep. It's Taser time. Tell her to get off your nuts.
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Comments (132)
poopy910 8
That is terrifying.
br0ccoli 15
14-possible reasons: Sheer boredom and dissatisfaction with life. Mental problems. Sociopathic, covetous personality. Who knows? OP needs to just live her life. There's nothing you can do about other people.
LookOnBrightSide 12
Some people just want to watch the world burn. Some people need the psychoanalysis of Freud to fully determine their strange idiosyncrasies. OP, I think you have great reason to falcon-punch that lady.
VorpikeII 17
Court restraint? It will her her to stop following OP, then again, if the woman I that obsessed it might end ip worse. It's worth a try though.
WOGBRO 6
OMG STALKER
metalwolf 17
23- At that point, I might begin to consider dropping the money for a mac. Of course, that is assuming that money equals value. / Linux user
VorpikeII 17
I hate my iPod. Auto correct is a bitch, so let's try again: Court Restraint? It will get her to stop following OP, then again, if the woman is that obsessed it might end up worse. It's worth a try though. Good Luck OP.
RedPillSucks 33
@71 not sure how this relates to 23s comment. Did you mean OP should get a MacIntosh, or a MAC-10? Either way, OP stalker is going to try to get a better MacIntosh or MAC-11
thejargogler 4
83- he said he was a Linux user, so I think we can all assume 71 was talking about a Macintosh.
br0ccoli 15
Creep. It's Taser time. Tell her to get off your nuts.
yahoowizard 16
Not going to lie, out of all the kinds of stalkers, she's not so bad. Tasers aren't necessary for something this small
TheDrudgeChild 4
Getting the store's security involved, however, is. Ugh, this lady needs to be taught respect, OP.
br0ccoli 15
50-I'd rather have no stalkers at all. It's obvious she wants to be like OP. This isn't something new. I believe it was the Aztecs that used to eat the hearts of the bravest enemies they've killed bc they believed in doing so they would gain their enemy's courage and strength. Stalker girl thinks having better stuff will make her better than OP. It's the modern version of what was done by the ancient people. While OP is just creeped out at the moment, you can never be too careful. Her brain might flip a switch then next thing you know, she's Hannibal.
da_directioner39 17
It's actually a bad idea, because if OP gets a taser, she's going to get a better one.
friedpwnadge 25
I have to admit 130, for all the heartless bastards who didn't get a giggle out of that I sure as hell did.
omzz05 2
Loooooool
flawrblah 0
Was that honestly worth a comment?
WCARlover 35
13 to answer your question, no. Lol
Angitia 8
18, it's called a rhetorical question.
LouisianaBob 9
13 are any of are comments really worth anything? I read fml for fun and don't expect any recurring benefit from having read or commented on any posts.
callofdutyking 3
Does she do this with just you.....
KeyboardWarrior 10
Are you asking or what...
Mister_Triangle 21
Do you guys not know about question marks...
Riku714 25
What do you mean...
Trembelwick 5
Well did you notice her before? How long has she been doing this lol, but ya that's creepy
Kennedy47 8
I say you make sure she is following you and then go buy a Rolex
SmirkingRevenge_fml 7
or go the other way and buy weird stuff together, like wrapping paper butt plugs and dog food. That should creep her relatives/careers out.
NegaMe 12
and then return it when shes not there...
ycrem0n 21
ಠ_ಠ - Y U NO LEAVE ME
alpaquette91 9
Explain to me where you create faces such as the ones you post?
KeyboardWarrior 10
Alt codes.
Bekgq 3
(=^?^=) I'm a kitty.
alpaquette91 9
So no iPhone fun?
Sydney92 3
so what is the alt code for the eyes???
LMA0 5
You have yourself a stalker.
Angelrose2004 17
Feel special, OP; not everyone is cool enough to have a stalker. *sigh*
Blueglasscup 18
Do the creep haaa and do the creep
guitarbeast 22
I still don't get the point of having Nikki manaj in that song…
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
77, I don't really think there is much of a point of her being there but, nonetheless, her part is my favorite part in the whole song so it doesn't really bother me (:
Urbanchiller 0
It is to how that guys aren't the only creepers, girls can be creep too, for every 3 guy creeps there is one girl creep.
bizarre_ftw 22
Guys still outnumber us? Excuse me, I have to alert the feminazis
emmanizzer 6
She's in the song because she was the musical guest for that episode of SNL.
nanxi 30
... Whatever floats her boat and makes her feel better about herself, then.