Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML
Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
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Top comments
Igshmia 0
Soooo.. he likes ****?
JiggaJayZ 16
Food > girlfriend
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Comments (184)
FMLsOhilarious 6
Must've been some pretty good chicken.
turkishjew 0
not just good but... ddddddddddaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmnnnnnn good chicken
2kiss 0
thats dirty:)) *** em
koshkaenigma 0
bwahahaha he sounds like an a hole and u are better off alone than being with a pathetic loser like him.
enduriwolf 19
hahaha that sounds like something my bf would do. not really but he'd go after food lol. You're probably better off without him
xijinping 3
oh chicken is serious
Bebbo_fml 21
Of course food leaves you! From the backend!
jren207 24
I like chicken, so i'd have done the same too, possibly.
danielleeloise 0
how do you eat a guy out?!
mpclaw 3
smart guy. what did you do to provoke it?
Capt_Oblivious 10
Well yeah, chicken goes bad fast, you have to consume it while you can. Relationships go bad also, but usually not quite as quickly.