Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
I bet he really pissed you off.
igese 11
That's a great example of a win-lose situation
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Comments (109)
angelitared 27
Holy cricket!
DKjazz 20
I'm an idiot. For just a moment, I forgot cricket was a sport, and I imagined op actually training an insect to do tricks and chirp songs. Sorry to all my fellow Americans for making us look bad, but I just wanted to share that image.
callie06 6
Jiminy cricket!
WiseGuy79 14
That's when you take your cricket bat and use his head for some extra practice...
andone2222 2
so... You're telling me he has a chance?! *YEAH*
CharresBarkrey 16
What was all that one in a million talk?!
bradleysol 11
He was pissed off. Your car was pissed on.
MoonRocks 5
Well someone's in a rather pissy mood
Pleonasm 36
Jaraté!
Enslaved 38
I had to look up "jarate" to see what you were talking about. Seems they have video games with every type of weapon available. :P
Pleonasm 36
Aha :p
Sputnikspak 13
Noooo jarate
Alihb 16
Well, TF2 is a bit odd, with the craziest items possible.
Welshite 40
Man, for an instant I was imagining cricket obedience training. What a let-down. :( I want to see pet crickets leashed and walked like dogs. I'll bet you can even teach them to chirp on command.
DKjazz 20
Well shite, I replied to an earlier comment thread with this same idea without scrolling down to see if it had been said already. And I thought I was being so original... Sorry, Welshite.
Welshite 40
CURSE YOU AND YOUR DESCENDANTS THRICE OVER! Actually, I don't mind. If I got offended every time someone posted something similar to me, I'd be angry at a lot of people. I don't see the point of holding grudges or becoming upset over something so small. Post what you like, and I shall do the same. As long as people like my comments, and/or I make them smile, I'm content. A chuckle makes my day. :)
ottokat 15
Urinary Bottleitis is not a joke, OP.
kim_larsa 5
Call the police!
lulubelles 33
Recruit him for the team, sounds like he's got an excellent aim!