Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my dad asked my help with a computer problem. Whenever he logged on Facebook, every single advertisement appeared to be hardcore porn. I had to awkwardly explain that these ads are based on his browsing habits. FML
Private stuff
Today, I was on the phone to my boss and I mentioned about finding what he needed in the search history. Later, my dad asked what a search history is. When I explained, he went red and asked me if I could maybe delete his without reading it. Jesus Christ, Dad, use private browsing. FML
Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML
Privacy
Today, my dad saw my cleared internet history and said, "You do know we can still track your history with your IP address, right?" I don’t ever look at porn or anything like that. I just don’t want other people knowing all my business all the time. FML
Impatience
Today, my dad asked me to help him buy a laptop by searching online. He explicitly said, "When you have time." I decided to shower as I had just woken up. While showering, I was startled by loud banging and my dad angrily asking why I wasn't looking for his laptop. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML
Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML
Today, my dad gave me his old camera. I got home and eagerly turned it on to start using it. I was greeted by a photo of my father drunk, smiling, naked, and covered in peanut butter. FML
Dad joke
Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML
Top comments
whassallt26 13
Rookie mistake
UncleCaitlyn 21
Have you considered incognito mode?
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Comments (70)
whassallt26 13
Rookie mistake
krazy789 28
i remember those days... i had to learn quick
thefaekitten 29
Thats the moment you know you ****** up.
Fmelikeuhateme 24
He wish :p
ManicGypsy 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, if you weren't out before, I guess you are now? Be proud of it.
tantanpanda 26
A guy buying ****** and lube doesn't automatically make him gay, you know.
Lars93 18
no straight person would buy that...
mattrd_fml 31
@Lars93 You're wrong.
XxDanno316xX 27
#10, So a guy buying his gf a toy is gay? Your way if thinking is flawed mate :)
Krypt1c 11
Believe it or not there are straight men that enjoy anal play.
KushyMcHaze 18
Who said OP is a guy?
marigoldcobain 21
The male icon on the left of "Anonymous"...
cheeeksss 29
Realized I made a mistake in this comment, so I'm editing over it.
interesting33 37
#13 I see where you're coming from - I assumed OP was maybe gay or bi too, but actually a lot of straight guys like receiving anal, girlfriends buy strap-ons and things. It apparently stimulates the prostate and feels really good. It isn't necessarily just for someone who is homosexual.
Bunnyluver 20
How can you tell, Op may be a girl. Will it tell you on the app?
SecundusSecunda 27
It was at that moment he knew, he messed up.
Its_Sinon 15
Do you clear your browsing history every day?
UncleCaitlyn 21
Have you considered incognito mode?
MeowntainMix 18
I don't think you can sign in to websites in incognito mode
mudkipsan 19
49, you can, although your auth token goes away when you close the tab, like you'd expect. It's moot, though, because when you log in, amazon now knows who you are - you can put on a big hat and sunglasses for a walk down to the ***** store, but when you say "HI, I'm Jack Offenschimdt, please send these ****** to my house," it kind of tips your hand. And next time you walk by the place on your way to get tacos with your dad, hope the clerk doesn't rush out to thank you for keeping him in business by buying gallons of lube. That's pretty much what happened here.
cosmic_peanut 17
this would made a pretty good vine tho , sorry for hearing that OP!
trojanman74 6
You done messed up A Aron!!!
MisterKnowItAll 15
you wanna go to war B lockay?!
Adamjohn82 19
Jay quellin? We got a jay quellin?
18drakerad 18
If one of y'all says some silly ass name, this whole class is gonna feel my wrath
dragonclaw6 11
What about a Dee Nice.....where she at?
Youre_A_Pussy 19
You mean Denise?
noisyboy4000 23
Son of a bitch! *breaks clipboard*
bandaidstations 28
Op shouldn't be having sex. He WILL get pregnant, AND DIE!
Badkarma4u 17
Insubordinate... and churlish.
Boobookittyf96 10
I love all of you
toastbrot 9
that's interesting, I would never buy that kind of toys at amazon. thats like buying condoms where the curious friend of your mom works.
FSGInsainity 15
And then her friend asks why you're getting them, as nobody would ever sleep with you.
TurquoiseJesus 15
lot cheaper to buy that stuff there then at a normal sex shop (and frankly cheaper than most adult-sale websites).
cameowhitten 12
adam and eve has good coupons. ;)
Ilsontfous 3
If he just "noticed" without saying anything that´s pretty cool of him