Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML
Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Were these people high on Coke? I'm sure this gave you a Jolt, but in Sprite of your ordeal, don't keep Tabs on these people - they could be dangerous criminals. You need to try to stay 5-Alive. I would take a Minute Maid and then get out of town. Maybe take a walk through some Mountain Dew and breathe some Sierra Mist, or take a trip to a Sunkist Orangina grove, or go visit your Crush. I hope my advice Pepsis you up a bit. Good luck.
TheCarChanel 0
Did u grab the unopened one
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Comments (126)
Hellishness 6
Lmao...my first comment and I'm first. I'll probably never comment again. Have fun bashing me.
kittenvks 11
Troll
gunmania0 12
You are so amazing. You are my idol.
BuhBuhBoomer 2
You ah should of held onto the open can in case they came back. And if they didn't, free soda.
ss_20_xx 14
Sounds like a game of dodging the soda cans!
BountyBass 13
He obviously forgot the 5 d's
ICastillo 25
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a soda can.
starman02 12
Ouch.. Who does that?!
ucoolgirl31 20
At least it was closed because you didn't get all wet!!
Vociferouslife 4
This is why everyone should be strapped
metalwolf 17
might be the same people who are thumbing you down.
TheCarChanel 0
Did u grab the unopened one
blcksocks 19
This wouldn't be an FML if he would have been able to grab it. OP clearly says he was hit.
taracrane1 7
...OP could have walked over to the can and grabbed it? TheCarChanel didn't ask if he caught it.
failureusername 12
12_Yes we know that OP got hit but the question of whether he picked it up and drank it still remains.
Roevera 14
#17- It would make an awesome pop commercial if he did catch it.
Il_Maestro 6
If he did, I sure hope he waited a little while before enjoying his drink.
Saryrr 3
So it wouldn't fizz every where, right?
realSlimjimShady 7
Shoulda thrown it back break that fools window
tjv3 10
I hope the OP beat the snot out of them, or at least got the lic plate number. Then OP could stalk then and make their life a living hell
Ge0rger0kz 5
What would happen if they missed the second time?
Roevera 14
Then there wouldn't be an FML..
x_KL_x 7
Then they would use the car.
thgiL 9
20- How do you know? Perhaps hypothetically they come around again with a big carton of milk...?
Roevera 14
3rd time is the charm I suppose.. They just got lucky with the second.
thiscrazything 1
It would have been a six pack.
GovernorGeneral 8
Heyyy your comment reminded me about that fml where the guy tries kicking a can at op but continualy misses so he picks it up and throws it xD
NNR 0
They would probley throw a bomb
SqueakyChipmunk 22
They'd get out of the car, walk up to op, and hit em with the can head on.
hurrican_fml 0
They would open a can and get a funnel so they don't miss.
Jumpingmal2 7
They throw an empty can at him
nerobluerose 10
Drive by canning? What has the world come to? Are bullets that expensive?
eddeeezzyy 19
Yes they are! That's why I switched to Nerf gun missiles.....that shit is cheap and reusable! :D
yahoowizard 16
Chris Rocks skit about making bullets worth thousands a bullet starting to stop shootings work in real life
realSlimjimShady 7
53- WTF
SkoomaKi 28
Did you get a look at their registration plate? Of you can try and find it, paint it some nice colors ;) I'm sure they'd appreciate the paint job. If you know what I mean.
onlychildFTW 34
Ah yes. Vandalism. Always the answer! (sarcasm)
SkoomaKi 28
Ah no. Joking. It gets used quite a lot on this site. (no sarcasm)
simonsaysYDI 8
=0 Or pour a bunch of soda all over it.
raraisbang 12
Thats what you get for pissing those gangsters off. I told you that was a bad idea!
mhopper 13
In Missouri?
Il_Maestro 6
Only the gangsters that truly go HAM carry out their hits with soda cans.
Ruffclue 9
Bust a Can ??
jokesta187 11
In his ass?
taracrane1 7
Free drink!
niallswifr 7
Sounds like a fizzy situation! No? Ok.