Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML
Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking past there and the bird attacked me. FML
Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, there’s been birds nesting in my wall since mid winter. They’ve recently started scratching at the wall as if they wanted to get through. This morning, they made their entrance. FML
Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
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Top comments
HowAreYouToday 34
Angry birds IRL.
Zebediabolical 45
Get the pigs to help you out!
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Comments (80)
Enslaved 38
FYL even more if they are mockingbirds. I had a mockingbird nest in my backyard and those damn birds were so vicious I nicknamed them Sid & Nancy! Couldn't lie on my hammock for weeks!
perdix 31
#29, yes, their mocking can be so cruel! I don't talk that high!!
olpally 33
Throw a book at them or something! They're just birds! Lol. Get a baseball bat.
droidlover 14
You should kill them muwhahahahaha
lishajoy777 14
To kill a moocking bird.
worldclassrager 41
Looks like the nest is going or you have to enter your house from a different way or get attacked until they are used to you entering that way...
Kyle_Kawi27 7
Dead birds...
Ur_Life_My_Laugh 6
Demand they pay you some rent.
jlynpa 10
Cue the Hitchcock music!!!
lukehalper 4
Bitch u gay or somethin cause no birds I ever hear of attak a straight perrson
ohthatsawkwardx 7
Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" is coming to life!
spunkylady 24
We had a problem with starlings for a little while.. We ended up calling animal control and they said to get a plastic owl. So we did and they left pretty quick.