Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking past there and the bird attacked me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I was attacked by a bird at three in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and it decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jqmalang 17
"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.
yuno_gasai_fml 34
I hope you're ok op :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
yuno_gasai_fml 34
I hope you're ok op :)
kibster9 20
All I can think of when I read this FML is the movie "The Birds". Where the birds attack the humans.
xx000o 27
It knew you were afraid before you ever picked it up, it was just having some fun and confirming your fears at the same time.
julianbozikovic 20
Not all birds are jerks, haha it was just coincidence! Good try though, hope you're okay! :D
Cass_x 22
Birds can be really evil creatures.. But I guess you already figured that out ;p I hope you're okay!
sureshadow 23
Depends on the breed and the temperament o the bird
incoherentrmblr 22
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest...
LittleBells 17
They can smell fear.
icedexplosion 19
At least it didn't poop on you
Kitty_Kat44 31
I think I'd rather this happen instead of attacking my face. Them beaks are sharp! The other can wash off. Although still gross.
Greathoudini 11
Not sure why all of you took this as if they meant being pooped on is worse. What they meant was the bird could have also pooped on the OP, and to look at the bright side.
Miss_Chevious 37
well that bird / situation escalated quickly... literally.
epodax 12
That is one sneaky bird, playing nice untill it gets up close and then attacks! I bet it could smell the fear
Mightytall 35
It's the velociraptors little brother, what did you expect?
TypoFairy 20
Sounds like a Caique. Those birds are crazy! One second they're all happy and you can feed them and then their eyes dilate and they try to take your fingers off along with the treat.
Seiko_fml 15
That's like my birds to people. xD
abbylouise_x3 7
Okay, so what kind of bird was it?
cristy91 33
A macaw could rip out a chunk of face but a love bird can only give a hard pinch. I would say bird species is relevant to his I injuries
theramster 9
Guess what's for dinner!
theramster 9
Is it possible to delete a comment?
Miscellanonymous 8
That just happen to be coincedince. If you want to face your fear with birds, i'd say the safest way is to face them at a place where they are proffesionally trained. Shouldnt be no surprises.
iAlissa 34
I have five tiny little birds and they can all be bitches. I understand your fear.