Super villain origin story
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant, and my due date is less than a week away. The dad? Some random guy whose name I don’t know who fucked me in a tent at Coachella while I was drunk of my ass. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant, and my due date is less than a week away. The dad? Some random guy whose name I don’t know who fucked me in a tent at Coachella while I was drunk of my ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I’m pregnant. My fiancé was beaming with joy. However, I’m not sure if he’s the father because I recently had hate sex/quickie with my ex-boyfriend, who is also my coworker. I wish the Earth would swallow me. FML
Today, I’m almost six weeks pregnant. From exactly ten seconds of penetration. FML
Today, I found out I'm three weeks pregnant with a guy I've been dating for a month. I'm on the pill and we even used a condom. This baby must be some kind of superhuman. FML
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, I’m nine months pregnant and divorcing my husband. He’s been cheating for the past six months and blamed it on me for “lack of intimacy.” I’ve been hospitalized three times for this pregnancy thus far, so I'm sorry I’ve been sick growing a whole ass human! FML
Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML
Today, I'm 9 months pregnant and the father of my child has suddenly decided that the child I've carried for 9 months isn't his, and that it was "too late" to try and fix our relationship. He's the only man who could be the father, he's just finding every excuse to say, "Sorry, but no thank you." FML
Today, I found out that I’m pregnant just a few weeks after our wedding. I have no idea who the father is because before my wedding I had closure sex with my ex. He’s an olive-color skin tone Latino. My husband is white Caucasian. FML
Today, I’m 8 months pregnant. The father says the he won’t come to any more appointments, the baby shower, or even the birth unless his new girlfriend is allowed to be in the room when I deliver. I said absolutely not, so he told me to never call him again, and blocked me. They’ve been together for 2 months. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
simplybe3 6
Someday this will be a great story
dongdong xiang 10
If you can afford Coachella, you’ll be alright raising that kid alone without child support $$$$
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
simplybe3 6
Someday this will be a great story
Justkidding100 41
6 months too late to learn what an abortion is huh?
dongdong xiang 10
If you can afford Coachella, you’ll be alright raising that kid alone without child support $$$$
Wadlaen 24
If it's of any comfort, when the kid is born, you'll be all right and get someone you'll love very much! Most of the five girls from my high school class who became single mothers during the year we turned 20 and the year we turned 21 became pregnant as a direct consequence of them getting drunk, but they've all become good mothers, with a higher life quality. Good luck!
EricW 4
quite brilliant !