Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML
Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML
Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking past there and the bird attacked me. FML
Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, there’s been birds nesting in my wall since mid winter. They’ve recently started scratching at the wall as if they wanted to get through. This morning, they made their entrance. FML
Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
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Top comments
HowAreYouToday 34
Angry birds IRL.
Zebediabolical 45
Get the pigs to help you out!
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Comments (80)
ShakeDisPlace 10
I wonder if OP made a "tweet" about this too.
waltjrimmer 6
We get the same thing every spring, at least once. It's usually Robins, though we last time got a Dove. What sort of birds do you have?
TheTheTruthIs 5
Move to a new house
forevralon 7
Ah spring.
nvo 6
Maybe come as a friend and bring a pinch of bird seeds each time? They might overcome their protective rage by sheer repetition of non-threatening behavior. For the interim, use an umbrella as a shield against air attacks
sacmaster 11
I remember there was something like this at my highschool. Some geese had set up nest on the roof of a building everyone walked by at some point during the day. A few kids decided to approach without using caution, were attacked by the geese, and I believe their arms were broken! Birds can be nasty ******* when it comes to protecting their nests,
center 5
Two words: tennis racket.
dhaxor 9
Use the back door to go inside and grab a pellet gun :)
shinedown00 4
Put a hat and wrap your face and wear gloves and throw them out (sidewalk, year, etc)
jaibie 1
Try feeding them. It will depend on the type of birds, but a lot will learn to associate with food and that you are not a threat and will stop attacking - even when nesting if you feed them