Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, after having a hard week, I decided to order a pizza with an expensive milkshake. It slipped out of my hand in front of the lift. It went everywhere. I had nothing on me to clean it up with. Now I’m milkshakeless, down £5, and accidentally responsible for littering my accommodation. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SpankyMcThrust 6
I ******* hate it when people drink from the container; I don't give a **** about germs, learn some goddamn manners! Especially if you don't live there/aren't family.
thehoneybadger 10
Just poke a hole in the side of the bottle and drain it out into a bowl or something. It won't have to go past the Infected Area of the bottle.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (301)
Ryanmatuszak 5
wait. juice is your comfort food
knocking 0
I was wondering the same thing. I can't think of any kind of juice that would be considered comfort food - the first problem being that I consider food to be something that is solid. The only juice that would ever comfort me would have to have some liquor in it.
KRS_13 0
im a germaphobe too :P i feel ya. but still pour the bottle into another cup or something.
tymarie2012 31
won't help the backwash.
ninjaghost2013 0
suck it up butter cup like they say what won't kill u will make u stronger
StudMuffinette 17
sorry op :(
annihil8or 15
Make him by u a new one, his girl = his fault
fmluser57 0
don't be such a bitch and take a ****** drink
manbearpig7173 0
Solution: don't be a pussy
Otero117 0
I hate germaphobes. So complicated about everything it's so annoying. Honest thoughts
SaturnineBears 1
Stop being a pansy and wipe it off with a napkin.
dancerNsinger4li 0
If she has hepatitis or herpes or anything else will that make it go away...yea didn't think so smart ass. You should probably check to see if you have any STIs because from your comment it seems you are very careless about that kind of stuff.
SaturnineBears 1
If she has all these diseases do you think the roommate would be comfortable doing certain things with her? Sharing a drink with someone isn't that big of a deal nowadays and a lot of people do it. I agree that it was very rude of her to drink from his juice carton, but he doesn't need to make such a big ******* deal out of something so small.
dancerNsinger4li 0
Okay, I see your point.
ReynshineCutting 10
You do know what a phobia is right? It's an irrational fear that you can't control so OP can't just "get over it". Morons.
SaturnineBears 1
What? A phobia is something you can't get over? Shit, thank you for clarifying that up with me. I had no ******* idea. Ass.
firestone75 0
ok wait wait wait....am I seriously the only one who doesn't get what comfort foods and juice have in common???