Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, after having a hard week, I decided to order a pizza with an expensive milkshake. It slipped out of my hand in front of the lift. It went everywhere. I had nothing on me to clean it up with. Now I’m milkshakeless, down £5, and accidentally responsible for littering my accommodation. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
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Top comments
SpankyMcThrust 6
I ******* hate it when people drink from the container; I don't give a **** about germs, learn some goddamn manners! Especially if you don't live there/aren't family.
thehoneybadger 10
Just poke a hole in the side of the bottle and drain it out into a bowl or something. It won't have to go past the Infected Area of the bottle.
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Comments (301)
currychicken 4
ytd for being a germaphobe
LinTurk 4
Gross. Now the whole thing is contaminated. Especially if she was in with your roomate doing sexual things with her mouth, and then drinking your juice.
Mirorbo 27
EW!! EW EW EW!! I NEVER ONCE CONSIDERED THAT!!! Oh gawd! I feel like I should throw away all the opened juice containers now, just in case!!
janeyjay 2
UGH!!!!!
purplechickk99 0
Solution: Become a non-germaphobic.
mutinykitty 18
Humanity's fear of germs nowadays is the reason for all the horrible things we're encountering, like SARS and the swine flu. People are so keen on disinfecting everything they touch, their immune systems don'e build up an immunity to anything! Having nothing to defend the body against makes them useless. YDI!!!
Mirorbo 27
Say what you will, but I wouldn't want to drink from the same container as a person who may possibly have strep throat.
Mirorbo 27
Disregard this comment
redbluegreen 41
There is a small difference between a majority of people being "too clean", which leads to inexperienced immune systems, and someone with mysophobia.
thehoneybadger 10
I thought a lot of the superbugs were around because people can't be arsed finishing a full round of antibiotics once they get put on it.
Flutist 3
Okay, not wanting someone to drink out of your juice carton has NOTHING to do with SARS. 1) It's rude. 2) It's gross. He doesn't know if she washes her mouth, if she had someone's sperm babies swimming around in there or if she has some horrible disease that might be transported through saliva. Not wanting someone to drink from YOUR juice is not the same as disinfecting everything. Op, make her buy you a new carton.
redbluegreen 41
I thought the honey badger don't care. Honey badger don't give a shit.
daybowbow 0
Nasty ass honey badger.
a_nutritionist 10
@22 comments like yours are the reason mass misinformation exists. some stupid **** with an opinion on something they dont understand representing it as fact based on anecdotal stories or just their own theories without any foundation in truth.
Tolerate 4
false and homosexual. SARS and swine flu have nothing to do with the fear of germs. quite the opposite actually. most of the new, serious strains of diseases we once knew are a product of dirty living conditions for both humans and livestock - people who don't care or can't do anything about the uncleanliness. or from idiots who don't take their full course of medication when they're sick. YDI OP, for not getting therapy for your phobia earlier.
chan42987_fml 0
if you are gonna try to sound smart at least use diseases that come from over usage of antibacterials like MRSA.
turkishjew 0
thanks for the lesson DR. Dickweed
PotatoBlankey39 2
Psh. I don't blame you at all. I'm the same way. Make your roommate buy you a new one. His GF shouldn't be helping herself to your stuff anyways.
283leis 8
ummm where did it say OP is a guy?
LinTurk 4
right after his username... the blue male symbol gave it away.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Buy a new one! Or get her to buy you a new one.
knocking 0
It helps to read the full FML before commenting. It clearly says that the OP spent the last of their money on the juice.
turkishjew 0
then she wins
kitty_f 3
use a glass
2ndSucks 15
Backwash.. Not helped by a glass.
A7X_LoVeee 10
I'm the same way. I hate it when people, even close friends, drink from my cup/can. It seems silly but there's just something about it.
IWarnedYou 0
I love your pic.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Lol thanks
Vetselm 12
tell her to buy a new one? :)
Wynthos 2
Punch it in the butt and spray it with some water. Works every time.