Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, after having a hard week, I decided to order a pizza with an expensive milkshake. It slipped out of my hand in front of the lift. It went everywhere. I had nothing on me to clean it up with. Now I’m milkshakeless, down £5, and accidentally responsible for littering my accommodation. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
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Top comments
SpankyMcThrust 6
I ******* hate it when people drink from the container; I don't give a **** about germs, learn some goddamn manners! Especially if you don't live there/aren't family.
thehoneybadger 10
Just poke a hole in the side of the bottle and drain it out into a bowl or something. It won't have to go past the Infected Area of the bottle.
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Comments (301)
firestone75 0
ok wait wait wait......am I the only one who doesn't get what "comfort foods" and juice have in common????
UsernameIsUsed 9
yes. Comfort food preferences probably differ from person to person.
im_so_ninja 0
did you punch her?
XxbrokeNCYDExX 6
I feel your pain...
Person1233 13
lolgermaphobes. I love drinking out of the bottle and pissing off germaphobes. It's like IRL trolling.
FarSide 23
OP, you know what else? She probably touched the doorknobs too. And didn't wash her hands after using the toilet. FYL.
lemondrink 0
ew revenge is sweet
ArielTheMermaid 17
jut drink the freaking juice
Jujubilee 1
that is so fcking rude and disrespectful!! that's not her home let alone her juice! be one of those roommates that label everything, because clearly you have to! and I would actually say something to her too.
geeksaresexy 18
I used to label everything I bought! It didn't work, apparently guys ignore it anyway.. and yes I say guys because there were 2 guys and another girl, it was ALWAYS the guys that took my stuff!
Jujubilee 1
literally made me LoL! thumbs up for you! ahahaha
cocomymoco 0
stop being so overly paranoid and wipe off the god damn bottle.