Gooey mess

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML

Quickshot

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

Cockblocked

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we were out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

Frustrated at work

Today, my guy finally got his brother out of their house so we could try and get busy. It was going okay when he tried to put on a condom. It got soft. We messed around a little longer tried again. Then a third time. I finally just started to get dressed and he took me to work. FML

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML