Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we were out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, my guy finally got his brother out of their house so we could try and get busy. It was going okay when he tried to put on a condom. It got soft. We messed around a little longer tried again. Then a third time. I finally just started to get dressed and he took me to work. FML
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
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Top comments
TheNewMirage 10
Well, I've got to admit, water balloons are pretty awesome as well.
naxeeb 33
Next time you're buying condoms, maybe you could buy him some balloons as well? Or just buy extras!
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Comments (125)
alex_gen 39
I don't understand why "you couldn't." How does not having a condom stop you from having sex? Take birth control pills. I mean, you're risking getting pregnant anyway, so what's so tragic about not having them?
vewwe 20
Actually birth control pills are safer than using a condom if you don't want to get pregnant. A condom can get destroyed but is of course better to protect one from an std.
Trish01 23
Correct me if I'm wrong but you can't just take a birth control pill when you run out of condoms. Don't you have to be on the pill already? Unless you meant that OP should go on the pill, in which case it's still an FML coz she clearly wasn't on it at the time.
SlapAndTickle 20
As a sufferer of blood clots I cannot take birth control pills. If you are thinking about getting put on them visit your doctor and do some tests, I wouldn't have even know I had a protein S def. Yes, they do take a while to get in your system before you can have unprotected sex. Still, I wouldn't have unprotected sex with a man that you've only been dating for a short period of time because of STDs. Also, I would suggest buying your own stash of condoms and hide them from him.
monnanon 14
for most bc you have to have done one cycle for it to take effect hardly a quick fix unless you mean plan b. wouldnt be using that for bc though.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Not everyone can take birth control pills, because some people's systems don't handle the extra progesterone very well. This may lead to an increase in yeast infections, and other unpleasant vaginal conditions. In the express purpose of staying child-free and std free, yeah, they couldn't have sex. My doctor told me that I had to have sex with a condom for the first 7 days of the course of taking the pill, so you can't just take a pill and expect to be protected right away.
blackpuddle 30
I'm on a low dose of the progesterone only pill which is less effective than the other birth control pills too, so my boyfriend and I use back of birth control methods. So some aren't even as effective as others. Also like one commenter said above me about some people not handling the extra progesterone, the same thing can happen with the extra levels of estrogen as well. Some people just aren't made to handle the extra hormones =)
slimkelsey 17
Condoms don't protect from STDs. I learned that in sex ed. Condoms are as good at making babies as they are for protecting from STDs. Not good at all.
rhevenge 19
umm....hello? birth control doesn't always work. then again using both together aren't 100% fool proof. at least she is being cautious.
Lomus 24
Can't see what the problem is. You're disappointed because your boyfriend was being awesome?
starile 20
Yes. That's exactly what it is. OP hates awesome boyfriends.
MisterEx 28
Well dear, if you were doing your boyfriend more often than once every full moon, he wouldn't have enough time to water balloon the condoms.
pdp_fml 21
69? There are other ways to get off. Try something else.
HeartOfLead 24
I really bad for op... Imagine the epic water balloon fight she missed out on!
PresAgent 23
What's stopping you from getting more? Condoms are readily available at convenience stores and gas stations alike, just for this reason. YDI, because that's just an excuse.
monnanon 14
it would still be annoying to have to stop, get dressed, head to the store buy condoms, come back, get undressed and start again. see i got frustrated just writing this, imagine what it would be like to live it.
rich4mysmile 2
I've used the pull out method for the last few years works just as good as a condom, and it feels way better!
Dilwann 27
How about you go spreading bad advice somewhere else?
CeeCee_fml 16
You are a fool.
Tegz0rz 12
Did he really, or was he just saying that to hide the fact that he's cheating on you?
hello_world456 5
Haha
kurodansei 16
He'd used up all his condoms.... THAT SON IF A BITCH! to make water ballons..... Is a pretty funny guy sorry for yelling.