Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
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Top comments
hotshot0185 15
Hope you got the number from the ad.
Accuraxy 10
It was pretty rude, but at least he has a sense of humor. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
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Comments (53)
hotshot0185 15
Hope you got the number from the ad.
Lisee92 18
I've never understood why some people don't remove them. Why keep them when there's so many different ways to get rid of them. It looks kinda nasty. OP, take your boyfriend's hint.
Umbreon01100 18
I had a wort on my finger and had it for years before I finally decided to do something about it and I will tell you it hurt and didn't even completely remove it (it is starting to grow back
Accuraxy 10
It was pretty rude, but at least he has a sense of humor. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
TKay916 15
I assume he was just trying to be hilarious.
FlyingPie 17
I'm sure this is only a bump in your relationship. Wart are you gonna do?
happylappy 21
And you know this how?
gc327072 31
@22 It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the joke! *whoosh*
flockz 20
ooooo that was cold enough to... well.... freeze your warts off.
AnOriginalName 19
I think it was actually a burn. Can we get Kelso in here to validate that, please?
DefiningDivine 13
Burn. Happy?
Bevspeaks 11
I think it goes more like: BURN!
iAlissa 34
I scream, you scream, we all scream for wart cream.
jondivey 9
why did this get negatives its kinda clever, i mean in like an 13 year ods kinda way but hey still clever.
iAlissa 34
It's actually a skit from Saturday night live. Except for wart cream, it was originally ****** cream. Which sounds better in my opinion. And sometimes immature humor is the best kind :p
wardo 4
You're profile picture is fake and you should feel fake
Bradley_Dillon 39
Your* did you go to school?
dawood_k 27
Wart if it starts talking to him or you. Wart are you going to do! I'm just like your boyfriend, I'm wartified of them!
NotGabe 28
Wartever.
Bevspeaks 11
Then his sentence would have been, "I'm glad yours does not talk" That is grammatically incorrect. You are a fail grammar nazi. He used the proper contraction. "I'm glad yours do not talk"
Bevspeaks 11
Cheer up OP! Warts aren't a bad thing at all, and they're easy to treat, I'm sure your boyfriend meant no harm in what he said.
Egregious 5
Become a ventriloquist. Once you're popular enough, you can get your very own commercial.
Queensland 27
Your picture was my reaction to your comment.
hcollins1 18
I don't know, I don't think those people in the wart commercials are ventriloquists. If she were to become one, I'm sure she doesn't have to become popular to get a commercial, just find an agent.