Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I realized I'm extremely sexually attracted to my physical therapist. It doesn't help that treatment involves me spending the entire appointment naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
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Top comments
drawmesunshine 17
"I want to lick your labia minora." That's not so bad, OP.
DocBastard 40
There's no need for you to use your hypoglossal nerve in lingually palpating her ********. If she digitally stimulates your frenulum of prepuce, you're going to get into trouble. Just ignore her nipple-areola complex and concentrate on your textbook, junior.
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Comments (128)
Pelreskovich 11
I'm sorry that really ruined it I bet.. But at least you hot frisky!
Pelreskovich 11
Got*
SokDek 14
Doesn't matter, had sex.
Pelreskovich 11
Exactly!
neal001 0
NO ONE THUMB THIS COMMENT
bubble25_fml 5
10- I believe the appropriate term is coitus, unless of course all they did was *********** or fellatio.
kareltje 17
YDI, Mr Doctor, you should've learned a different profession ;)
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Yes, just because he's naming parts of the body during intercourse, means he should've studied a different profession.. Seems legit
kareltje 17
Ok, seriously... from now on I WILL end my comments with /sarcasm. People actually seriously responding to a comment from which the sarcasm drips off in thick syrupy drops... That's worth writing my own FML about... /off writing an FML
FirstTigerHobbes 13
25- Smart
evilplatypus 39
I see no inherent sarcasm. It looks exactly like half of the brainless bull I see in the comments.
clairesucks 37
#25 please stop trying to be funny, it's not working and your only embarrassing yourself
btownjhawk 10
There's nothing wrong with being gay... it's aight! :)
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Who said anything about being gay?
deequu 20
You will get use to it (: give it time and try and not think about it (: get in the moment because there will be worse things later on in your profession!
DoubleDose 0
I'm getting do damn sick when people use works like frisky to reference to sex and the aforementioned foreplay. Either have the balls to call it sex or you shouldn't be having it.
drawmesunshine 17
"I want to lick your labia minora." That's not so bad, OP.
tylersign 11
"Nice looking vulva baby."
ShroomsOnAcid 17
"Your skilled performance of sexual intercourse is about to induce the expulsion of semen from the meatus of my phallus!"
EvilPotato 15
Doesn't matter, had coitus.
Pentium_4 27
exactly lol. most girls LOVE ***********
krnpanda 2
Still counts!
JacobWithaY 5
Citoris Rex
CrisisH3ro 0
I know how you feel op, its happened to me too.
muzy 23
Oh i highly doubt that...
Mister_Triangle 21
That's why you're not supposed to ********** over high school biology text books
So2011 4
Try to think about something else next time instead of your career.
G0dPower 2
The 2 seconds it took me to read this idiotic comment, I want them back.
TheDrifter 24
I actually enjoy running through correct names for where and what I'm about to do, keeps the mind occupied. You're going to have worse ED moments soon anyhow, some things you just can't unsee.
The_Great_Bevis 3
What has been seen can not be unseen
WaSiSimiLang 8
You get turn off by her gluteus maximus squeezing your penis? Damnnn
brianfantana32 10
This is one of the funniest FML's I've read in a while
octinate 17
Your profile icon needs updating
ZebulonPike 8
96- That's the point of the meme...