Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML
Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
And after he pulled out the Magic 8-Ball, it said, “Things look hazy.”
tounces7 28
I mean, you could have at least told us what it was.
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Comments (24)
Amanda Jaworski 23
A USB cable? It’s ok, it happens apparently.
RichardPencil 32
And after he pulled out the Magic 8-Ball, it said, “Things look hazy.”
real life problems 26
What's wrong with you people for god's sake. If you're old enough to ********** then you should be smart enough to not shove random stuff up there..
Jacke Bear Slane 3
"old enough to **********" is any age when you know what you're doing. Anyone could make this mistake if they're desperate enough.
tounces7 28
I mean, you could have at least told us what it was.
zuckerburg 21
Fruits and vegetables is NOT for masturbation girls!
blondie45 21
Actually they are the best things to use...
tenniemo 20
Wrong - the skin on vegetables and fruits can be dangerous to the vaginal wall, especially if they are uneven or coarse. You could potential scratch or cut yourself, then bacteria and air could get into your bloodstream and you could die from an infection or an air embolism. It’s better to stick with items that are MADE for that purpose, and take care of your things/replace them over time.
zomboid 9
Not disagreeing with either side but as a person who gets cut by random metal objects daily, I have never heard of air getting into the blood stream and killing a person from a simple cut. As for a Bacterial infection, while possible, you're immune system would have to be pretty much useless. Which is possible because doctors feed antibiotics for everything.
Davros 12
Ma'am, thats not how you make pickles.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
So he knows that you're horny and kinky. How is this not good advertising?
Spiritbird 17
I dont know why many ppl use complex shaped objects to pleasure themselves which later get stuck. I mean come on, couldnt you use lamps or hair dryers or flower vases and other stuff like that?? All simple shapes...smh
free_parking 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
way too go *****
bibobobonnor 8
Sure, they're a ***** because they **********, makes perfect sense.
Charlie Given 28
You should have said Ta Daa it's magic 🤣🤣🤣