Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, after my girlfriend made a huge dinner, we got frisky. About 15 minutes in, I threw up the dinner she made, all over her. She hasn’t talked to me since. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a walk on the beach at night. We were completely alone, so she started blowing me. It was great for the first five minutes, but she had just eaten dinner and (apparently) wasn't feeling great. I ended the night in the shower picking vomit out of my pubes. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
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Top comments
RebekahBrooke 9
Did you not worry about that beforehand?
Bluemonster3 26
How sexy...
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Comments (175)
DrDilllonReese 12
That's pressure for ya.
nalia18 8
Thats pleasure for ya. Snot a good thing... Barf happens :/
LiveLaughFML 10
when i'm sick i'm usually in bed drinking something hot, but when OP is sick they're actually in bed and things start getting steamy!
fatgirllovesfml 0
You're showing gay signs, you may need to get that checked out.
aaaahhDamn 0
16- thank you for rereading the FML to me, because I didn't comprehend the fact that OP was sick, and things got steamy the first time I read it
indielove 13
Sick in bed + making out never ends well.
SCREAM4meeee 0
How can 2 people sick in bed even get things 'steamy?' unless they weren't that sick in the first place...
LiveLaughFML 10
#25: aw, it was no problem at all. really. :)
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
When I am sick I don't experience any steam unless I take a hot shower to clear my head a bit for this exact reason.
Angry_Guitarist 0
That's when you know it's good
bizarre_ftw 22
17 - I think you were going for: When I'm sick I like to have a hot cup of tea and hit the sack, when op is sick they like to have a hot chick and hit her in the sack (one way or another it's still not a great joke though)
aliceb2255 0
how adorable.
chiddy_bang71 0
2 girls 1 cup minus the shit
absolutegrrr 7
And minus the two girls and the cup, but yeah apart from that...
AlexanderSilver 0
I would pay good money for an FML where the romance doesn't begin when "things got a little steamy."
laurbear12 3
54- why do you continue commenting?? You always get so many thumbs down lol
dre_bro11 12
OP, now you can just lick it back off her. Get back in the mood!
booboojlc 0
127- why don't you stop being such a rude bitch
nava1210 12
Say you saw it in a 2 girls 1 cup video and wanted to give it a try..
Driveshaft 5
Eww, sounded gross from start to finish.
Bluemonster3 26
How sexy...
m0tl3ycru3 0
Not mine however
m0tl3ycru3 0
If that's your fetish
markrs 0
Girlfriend's reaction: "WHAT THE FU$& IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"
StopDropNRoll 11
Come on guys he just pulled a good old fashion stan marsh
rawrkittyrawr 6
Rule 34 no exceptions
ThatFunnyDude 3
people accidentally do a lot of things before they pull out. that x-wing pilot from star wars,countless airforce pilots, my dad...
JinxosGirl87 0
He figured she was into Roman showers
MrKlutch 1
Scummmmm
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Well done.
Daralea 21
"You look so sexy when you cough up phlegm like that."
RebekahBrooke 9
Did you not worry about that beforehand?
DrDilllonReese 12
Well, idk about OP, but I feel I'd he sauve enough that puking on women isn't the first thing I have to worry about ha.
illmatic2 16
I read that comment like 5 times and I'm still not sure what you're trying to say.
DrDilllonReese 12
I'm saying I don't instinctually assume I'll puke on members of the opposite sex. In response to her question of why that didn't occur beforehand. I was being a smartass.
illmatic2 16
You're not a very good smartass.
DrDilllonReese 12
People dont like smartasses. Seeing as my comment was thumbed down, I'd say I succeeded.
TheWindowLicker 13
Your comment was thumbed down because it was hard to comprehend, not because you were being a smart ass...well I mean I assume that's why.
DrDilllonReese 12
Very true, proper english is frowned upon nowadays...
LittleBritt 0
Sorry but I have to agree with everyone else here... Your comment makes NO sense what so ever....
TheWindowLicker 13
I think the main reason your comment was misunderstood was the "he" before suave...or maybe I'm misreading, who knows. And I don't think proper English is frowned upon, it's just hard to come by on the Internet. Anyway if anything is frowned upon its grammar nazis..not proper English :p.
DrDilllonReese 12
Well the "he" was a typo. It's right above the "b" but wouldn't grammar Nazis and proper English go hand in hand? :P
HatefulPilot 0
Just shut up.
DrDilllonReese 12
Sorry, forgot you owned the Internet, bro.
mstaerk7 0
It's better to be a smartass than a dumbass
EvilPotato 15
Apparently not.
ma22hm 0
sweet
j_cat187 20
Haha stupid li'l smartass
alexwarfield333 1
You are both smart asses!
tigeral786 0
Hiiiii
jacob4592 0
Ahhaha same here
RebekahBrooke 9
Did you not worry about that beforehand?
RebekahBrooke 9
Double post... Thumb me down for my accident.
m0tl3ycru3 0
That's discusting!
beachbabe830 0
So is your spelling
Cynical_in_SK 6
Yeah...disgusting even! Lol
m0tl3ycru3 0
16 so is ur face
aaaahhDamn 0
24- Good comeback..
nikolkaw 9
Good one lol
xGraycloud 4
Thats what 16 meant... I hate explaining something obvious -___x
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
How does a 17 yr old misspell that?
wegetrz 14
By attending public high school in the U.S.
eog314 0
kid, we know you meant disgusting.
Arivien 3
You see, this WOULD be an acceptable typo, except that c and g aren't even on the same row. Even then, you don't look at your comment before sending it? Idiot.
ReptarTheStar 6
Did you mean disgusting?
MutherFuther099 0
I would probably get sick and puck all over you too.
Flutequeen 0
Want to be anymore rude...:/
SystemofaBlink41 27
I want to puke all over your spelling
juliaispink 1
Woah even though tht was rude, i love tht pic!!
jjb1997 4
*puke
aardvarkish 17
Just puck off...
JoeLouisBomber 9
Some home made natural lubricant for your troubles
Zya_fml 8
Why'd you say that. The mental images in my head are atrocious.
TheBlackCops 0
It could've been worse, what if you were "downstairs"?
HideouslyHuman 10
Does it taste like a hot pocket too?I'm just wondering,do they all taste the same?Say I get sick into one,will it still taste like a hot pocket given a good bath?
HideouslyHuman 10
Okay my comment made me feel sick,But that's what this guy is implying!
HideouslyHuman 10
*cough* look at his profile picture aswell.
freak2theanime 0
YOUR A ******* IDIOT.
Alex94xela 0
Oh the irony. I'm not even good at English and I spotted That one.
j_cat187 20
Vomit smells worse than shit for some reason.
here4theparty 4
But how do you know he has a two story house? hahahahahahahahahah
beachbabe830 0
What a turn on ;) did she repeat the lovely gesture?
RecklessJellyBea 7
It's not me, it's you!