First Dates
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy I really like. Everything went well, and then he wanted to kiss me. As he leaned towards me, I got slightly panicky and ducked out of the way, causing him to headbutt the car behind me. Now we know why I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
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Top comments
HeyLookJesus 11
At least that pimple didn't start talking to him.
Awsumuzzie 12
Guys always say, "I like my girl natural and without make up on." Well, there you have it.
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Comments (135)
Pelreskovich 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe you should take care of those things before you go on a date.. But that is incredibly rude of him.
kareltje 17
Yep, can't agree more. Clean out the house before you leave!
drawmesunshine 17
3, WTF are you talking about?
MyLuckyDayFML 0
A house apparently.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
That was rude of him to point it out like that. :( Pop it in his drink when he isn't looking. >:) Then go home and wash your face. :D
MyLuckyDayFML 0
14-That's ******* gross
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Yup that's the point! And I'm not being serious...geez
FirstTigerHobbes 13
14- yes because popping pimples into drinks is always the solution -.-
MyLuckyDayFML 0
Cute new pic Numer Uno
Awsumuzzie 12
I agree 35, nom nom! Let's make a creep club.
Pelreskovich 11
:D
fmlpro0987 0
.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Well it's not like she could have done anything about it before her date, short of postponing it. Putting makeup on it is one of the worst things she could do, as it would hinder its ability to heal, and if it was that big, cover up would do nothing but make it look even more disgusting. Putting on any of the popular "zit zapping" creams and "medicines" beforehand will only make it redder and more noticeable, as they all work on the principle of killing bacteria or chemical exfoliation, not calming and healing the skin. Also, popping it will only leave a scar and a deep red mark. Honestly, the best thing to do is to just leave them alone, completely. So no, OP does not deserve it. Her rude date just needs to show a little more respect and compassion.
Pentium_4 27
sometimes when you're just casually scratching your face.... *a wild pimple appears*
attaboy368 20
yup~
Felmacar 4
I agree with you!
skoob 4
Popping pimples into the drink would be the solute. Not the solution, duh!
HeyLookJesus 11
At least that pimple didn't start talking to him.
D37H100 5
That's always a good sign.
DrMime 10
Oh well! Better luck next time OP. Your lucky that it was only a pimple and not anything else! I'm a mime for Pete's sake! Finding love is hard for me. Seriously, when was the last time you've seen a mime getting action? It's bad enough that we can't talk to women (or anyone else for that matter), but when you live outdoors and make your necessities out of 'imagination', it can get rough! *waves hand, starts making love to invisible mime prostitute*
suckmyrainboww 0
Damn.. You're cute.
antart3 18
I loled, YDI
gazzdogs 5
Why does OP deserve that? It was incredibly rude and sometimes makeup just does not cover them.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yeah, you "LOL-ING" isn't grounds for a YDI. Idiot...
MrBoredGuy 1
It should be L'edOL
bitchslapped22 14
77, that's so true! For some reason I've never thought of that
WaSiSimiLang 8
I guess this big embarrassment / turn off means no "desserts" tonight?
Bekll 31
He could've been nicer about it. Like saying "Want to touch up in the bathroom then come back and we can start making out?" or something along those lines.
daisyismydog 3
That sounds worse.
Bekll 31
I mean he can gently bring attention to that she needs to touch up her face (concealer, etc.) than be so blatantly obvious about it and come across as rude, even if that wasn't the intention.
chili10 18
If a guy ever told me to touch up on my makeup I would tell him to **** off.
muzy 23
How is a concealer going to help if he's already seen it? only think that's going to do is attract more attention as he'll be focusing on it more
Bekll 31
Not for his sake but for hers so she won't be embarrassed by others who may notice and remark about it. Better hear it from him; she already trusted him, she was willing to kiss him.
muzy 23
O rly Dr. Phil ?
RochelleRedvines 8
Dude, then she'd be way too self conscious to kiss him, no matter how nice he was about it. And he was a total douche about it anyways.
Ashystar 1
really? can you touch up? guys dont have to put anything on their faces so why do girls? if it was him with the pimple then what? ask him to put makeup on?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
94, If we're thinking about her sake, it would be best not to say anything. What good would it do, seeing as how she can't do anything about it? As myself and others have already said, concealing it would be counterproductive, so all pointing it out would do is make her even more self conscious. Besides, most people are not big enough douchebags to rub in what she undoubtedly already knows. Even if they were, having a flaw pointed out to you by a significant other hurts way more than coming from a friend or a random person.
IntoTheClouds 42
I used to point out people's pimples, and I regret ever doing that. It's really bloody inconsiderate.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Ever since you found it bloody inconsiderate or since you pointed out a pimple to a 2.5 m tall tattooed bouncer? Jkjk
IntoTheClouds 42
No, people began pointing out my pimples because I was pointing theirs out. I had more pimples than they did. It sucked.
etiennerheaume_fml 0
You're bloody british eh ?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
#7, I read the first line of your comment " I used to point out people's pimples" and thought I was about to read another arrow to the knee joke. Thank you for not putting me through another one of those lame jokes.
silentbutfunny 0
You know, that saying isn't dead if you keep bringing it up
Yak99 0
I use to point out people's pimples but than..nvm its not even funny to joke about it.
IntoTheClouds 42
#30, I hate those ******* things. They're dumb and unfunny. You would never catch me writing something as stupid as an arrow to the knee joke. But, you're welcome.
periwinkle95 10
This guy at school used to point out my pimples. I took medication and now my face is clear and has been. Now his face is FULL of pimples. What goes around comes around.
Pentium_4 27
I can only think of that Family Guy episode with the talking pimple...
GelliE212 7
Then y would u even pick on anyone elses u moron
IntoTheClouds 42
#133, I'd think twice before calling me a moron when you can't even spell or punctuate correctly.
LauraKaty 2
Haha!
brianfantana32 10
Your comment is glowing with creativity! Radical
brianfantana32 10
He could have put it in a nicer way
TheOrangeProon 13
This is the most ironic/hypocritical thing I've ever read after your reply to #9.
silentbutfunny 0
Must be a slowpoke
mattorama 15
He was a jerk for saying that, but you couldn't have touched it up before going out or something?
chili10 18
Sometimes makeup just doesn't cover the big stuff and judging from the fml, op's was a monster.
blair_x 12
Yeah. Especially if it was one of those dry, crusty ones from too many applications of drying zit creams. Those suckers show through no matter what type of makeup you're wearing, and even if you moisturize it before. And, of course, you can't exfoliate the dry flakes off of it either, because then the entire thing will bleed and leak out pus for ages. FYL OP. Find another guy; one that makes such a big deal about normal things like pimples and stuff isn't worth it.
Awsumuzzie 12
Guys always say, "I like my girl natural and without make up on." Well, there you have it.
slushpup9696 12
There you have what? This doesn't prove anything.
Awsumuzzie 12
That guys don't actually mean it. At least not from what I hear when a girl stops putting make up on.
TheOrangeProon 13
Actually my favourite picture I have of my girlfriend is one that she took just after she'd gotten out of bed, with no make up and messy hair.
Awsumuzzie 12
That's actually different. That look makes you, subconsciously, think of sex.
TheOrangeProon 13
Oh damn it, I've got myself into an argument with a psychologist again. It couldn't just be that I think she's pretty all the time or anything...
Enslaved 38
That's because that picture probably reminds you of what you did to her earlier to get her hair all messy. Lol Make-up caked on can be a turn off but a little eye liner and lip gloss can change your look a lot. Ever see a model before and after being made up? If some make up didn't make you look better than no one would wear it. But I am a fan of the natural look. (:
Awsumuzzie 12
Well, I mean you could think that, I'm not saying you don't... But do you want her going everywhere with that messy hair? Besides, you picked that specific time and I was stating something I've read before. Just say you think she's pretty the whole time, don't use subliminal messages!
TheOrangeProon 13
I didn't intend to get into a spiteful argument about this, I was just annoyed by your generalising first comment and wanted to make my point.
StalinsHeir 1
So men are attracted to looks - natural or not. It's biology. Get over it.
Awsumuzzie 12
I'm trying to figure out where and why this thread started getting hostile...
Pelreskovich 11
Some girls really don't need make up.. Others.. Well.. ..I don't mean that in a mean way, some people just need a bit more help than others.
DEMACIA_fml 6
It's probably because she had just gotten out of bed with you...