Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I realized I'm extremely sexually attracted to my physical therapist. It doesn't help that treatment involves me spending the entire appointment naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
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Top comments
drawmesunshine 17
"I want to lick your labia minora." That's not so bad, OP.
DocBastard 40
There's no need for you to use your hypoglossal nerve in lingually palpating her ********. If she digitally stimulates your frenulum of prepuce, you're going to get into trouble. Just ignore her nipple-areola complex and concentrate on your textbook, junior.
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Comments (128)
MeLuvBewbs 7
You're giving her the checkup without the awkwardness!
noornia 6
U should just stop stressing!. Besides look at the bright side atleast you're memorizing them better now
lborgens 0
send here a bill for the "check-up".
SauceySarah 30
I'm in Anatomy and that's so true. I'd be all 'Nice buccinator muscles' to kids that are in band.
Awsumuzzie 12
You forgot to mention that you do it on purpose to show off.
muzy 23
oh no he didn't !!!
ladyLALAA 29
22- that was bitchy, ever thought maybe the girl is just smart?
Awsumuzzie 12
Not even doctors speak like that. They may think, but not speak... So I stand by my thought.
SauceySarah 30
I wasn't trying to show off. Do you even know me? No, so shut up[:
ladyLALAA 29
Actually I used to date a practicing doctor and he used to make jokes like that, so speaking from experience, yes it CAN happen.
Awsumuzzie 12
Oh, hm, speaking from my own experience, that's called showing off. None of the doctors I know speak like that. And no, I'm not lucky enough to have been honored by your graceful presence. Want to be friends?
ladyLALAA 29
Way to blow a joke way out of proportion. I see you do this often, does it make you feel good belittling people?
muzy 23
@ 112- Is that a rhetorical question ?
ladyLALAA 29
More of an observation really..
starryeyed1015 6
At least your remembering OP. Make a game out of it or something so it doesn't make you "sick".
Ozuru 11
Hey hey, at least you got some action. Next time demand a BJ, not much to think about there. BJ's ftw!
drawmesunshine 17
Something about your comment makes me want to punch you in the face.
whitperky 0
Compartmentalize your life, dude!
DEADANDDIVINE 7
Well... What did you learn?
moop256 10
You've only got 99 cookies?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Cause a bitch ate one.
eminemop 0
Did this bitch happen to be on the large side, with a white beard and rosy cheeks?
fiz1kaL 6
Thinking about work is how I last longer. Last night I doubled my record of 30 seconds, try and top that...
perdix 31
Asshole!
MyLuckyDayFML 0
Ohiseewhatyoudidthereordoi
RedPillSucks 33
I don't think that's the medically accepted term. (Assholeus Rectimus)
perdix 31
Of course it is! My brother-in-law is a doctor and he calls me that all the time!