Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, after weeks of being up nights to hand feed nine puppies, I, an insomniac, finally got to sleep during the day, which isn't easy for me, only to be woken by my partner asking me a stupid question that was unimportant, then made to feel like a jerk for being angry. I'm now stuck awake, pissed. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
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Top comments
trqskq 14
Tell him it's the one you're going to pour over his head.
nickownes1 3
Yeah my girlfriend has insomnia. I can tell its a really hard thing to deal with. Just hang in there, and maybe ask your boyfriend to not wake you up.
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Comments (51)
hunterfisher98 8
That's unfortunate. Don't let him sleep for the next year!
meowman13 5
Your pic is good advice for the bf #1 (;
greenie213 23
1- No that would kill him in just a few days! You gotta try to make him suffer for as long as possible.
Demonfish 14
28- it would drive him mad first :)
mikeofthunder 13
Gee "mad" is a bit of a loose term there innit? Insomnia doesn't make one "mad", it's just their brain becoming to encumbered to effectively sort everything in reality.
mikeofthunder 13
Woops! Incorrect inflection of "to" and retarded use of "encumbered" - which isn't actually an adjective.. But y'all know what I mean! Thumb me down like a bitch ;)
bizarre_ftw 22
^one of my favorite self-corrects I've ever seen *applauds*
nickownes1 3
Yeah my girlfriend has insomnia. I can tell its a really hard thing to deal with. Just hang in there, and maybe ask your boyfriend to not wake you up.
PaulB123 11
Sorry to have to do this, it was a great effort. *DocBastard's
chabooty27 7
Wtf?
mduffy08 8
I used to have insomnia, but I looked further into sleeping techniques. Those techniques help me have frequent lucid dreams, with the occasional sleep paralysis. OP should try a few, there are plenty online.
SenselessPattern 12
If nickownes1 is going to keep rushing to top comment, I'm going to need to explain a few things when people comment about his profile pic and get thumbed down from lack of understanding by everyone else: His profile pic is a clear case of "DocBastard's bitch" syndrome, and people don't know when his pic is being commented on because so far, nobody has put the simple phrase "Nickownes1 pic is..." etc. when they try to make fun of his picture. Hopefully, this helped clear things up. 17# is the example I'm using, but the FML before had this problem too.
outoftown 27
#51, You're advocating sleep paralysis over insomnia?! No. Just, no.
SenselessPattern 12
#51 Not trying to fill up the comments section, but sleep paralysis is akin to a real-life experience of Slender, where you can't move anything except your eyes and you sometimes sense a imaginary but often terrifying presence just out of sight. Definitely not something that should be worked towards having happen to yourself.
trqskq 14
Tell him it's the one you're going to pour over his head.
gc327072 31
Then his reaction would be your profile pic.
coolboy675 16
Threaten to cut his balls off when he doesn't expect it, that should give him a taste of insomnia. But why doesn't your boyfriend know you have insomnia?
StaceyMichelle 5
He probably knows, he was just being an ass.
Tuffay 14
Maybe she is a real bitch when it comes to soda...
stitesy29 18
Exactly so she should forgive him right then and there.
cheshireau 26
Kick him out for a few days while you rest. I'm sure his parents can look after him for the time being. Either that or put up a do not disturb sign and have him sleep else where.
Church_Vii 4
If he wakes you up again, shove a carrot up his nose.
gc327072 31
Well... there's one I haven't heard before...
Mideoyeo 12
You should lock the door next time! OR lable the soda in the fridge even though I don't get how it matters whose soda it is since you guys ARE dating.
Steffi 26
You kiss, I think it's okay to share drinks.
dino_cookie4 7
Me personally ( if i was him ) would of let you sleep and just grab a new one.
ImaginaryFoe 1
You must be getting thumbed down due to your grammar because your suggestion isn't terrible. "If I was your boyfriend, i would've let you sleep and just grabbed a new soda."
SilhouetteTheSly 10
Man, that bites! I have severe insomnia so I feel your pain. If he ever does that again, bitch slap him. Hope you get some sleep :c