Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Sleepless in Longfield
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Zzzzzzzz
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Thanks babe...
Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML
Drunk hookup ends with a… bang
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Buzzed
Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML
Obey, human
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Rude awakening
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
I can't get no sleep
Today, after weeks of being up nights to hand feed nine puppies, I, an insomniac, finally got to sleep during the day, which isn't easy for me, only to be woken by my partner asking me a stupid question that was unimportant, then made to feel like a jerk for being angry. I'm now stuck awake, pissed. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Top comments
trqskq 14
Tell him it's the one you're going to pour over his head.
nickownes1 3
Yeah my girlfriend has insomnia. I can tell its a really hard thing to deal with. Just hang in there, and maybe ask your boyfriend to not wake you up.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
Kiki242 19
Due sounds a bit inconsiderate.
Kiki242 19
Whoops spelling error. DUDE sounds bit inconsiderate
hisgirlherboy 5
You're missing a comma after dude. Commas always come after mild interjections, such as oh, wow, or in this case dude.
momo1972 3
We mark the bottle properly and you won't have that problem. Think ahead
eggmarie 25
I don't see why they have to mark the bottle in the first place. They're dating, why does it matter if they drink from the same bottle?
olpally 33
There would be no soda left if that was me living there... I drink way too much pop. Just tell him to take the diet one with hardly any flavor.
olpally 33
And go punch him in the stomach for waking you up.
mermaidcentaurs 9
No no. She hadn't slept in three days and had managed to finally doze off.
Rorix 6
Yeah, that's what OP meant, but the way it's worded implies that she dozed off for 3 days.
RentaName 15
That's pretty inconsiderate if he knew you hadn't got any sleep lately. Maybe he thought you were still awake?
TungstenLildog 10
Tell them they are all his and try quitting the soda (caffeine or non) if you have insomnia. hope you have better luck soon!
mykalt18 2
Today, after three days of insomnia, I was finally able doze off........ Your wording in the first half really didn't make any sense.
mykalt18 2
I love how this was thumbed down even though the FML team changed the mess up to what I put. Guys, FYI I posted this and then the team changed it, not the other way around! Lol.
Mearemoi 14
That attempt at sarcasm wasn't even funny.
sweetly1120 6
That's so selfish. I would be so pissed i would break up with him right then.
day624 14
What are you 5? She may be pissed for the rest of the day, but you don't break up with someone over that!