Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML
Today, after being accepted into the college of my dreams, I found out that my mom has spent all my college savings on alcohol over the years, and she says that it's my fault for not "helping her get help." FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, it's my 37th birthday. I was an honor student in high school, went to a top university, accruing a bunch of debt, and got trapped working jobs I hate. All because my teachers told me I was too smart for state school. The drug addicts I went to high school with live a more stable life than I do. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML
Today, after spending years volunteering at community theatres and being accepted into a prestigious university for theatrical design, my public high school gave me a scholarship. All my mother could say was, "I'm sorry they wasted their money on you." FML
Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML
Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML
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Top comments
Dalliance 4
I am not surprised.
thatnucca 36
At least it's weed and not sweaty man balls...
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Comments (128)
AirForce48 2
Shit I learned that in high school
paprikacha 9
Don't worry, hon. In an environment like a college campus you don' really have to be involved in certain behaviors to be exposed to them. I found out what weed smells like freshman year because some dudes were crazy enough to be hitting a bong RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DINING HALL. Where the campus police lurked all the time. XD Give her some time to settle in and adjust to the freedom, and she'll probably be fine. And for everyone saying she had to be sheltered or homeschooled to not have encountered weed - some of us go to school because we like learning shit so we don't end up like the guy that doesn't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. We end up not being exposed to things because we don't care enough to get involved in them. I don't know a damn thing about drugs, because I've never cared about them. No offense to those that do use 'em (at least ones that won't kill you). If it makes you happy and you're okay with it, go for it. ~_~
Semi_Interested 3
I am very surprised at the number of people giving sympathy, as though the fact that she knows what weed smells like is a terrible thing. I smoke weed on a fairly regular basis, and though I may not have graduated at the top of my class, I scored a 31 on my ACT, first try, and always score in the 99th percentile on standardized tests. Many of my intelligent friends smoke as well. Its not a bad thing. There is no harm in it, if used in a responsible manner. I have seen a lot worse come of people drinking than of people smoking. Peace.
musick831 0
Agreed
krez 20
Wait until next semester, when she learns what roofies taste like at a frat party.
jmucito 1
Berkeley
mshay 3
If you want to rag on UC Berkeley, I suggest that you learn how to spell the name of the university correctly. Plus, your daughter must either be a. Extremely naive or b. Lying to your face if she told you that she just learned what weed smells like. Wait until she starts classes to judge the school. If she's as educated as you think, she'll love the school and learn to ignore what the city smells like.
xfleshxwoundx 4
You're not from around these parts are ya? Berzerkely is a nickname for the town, on account of so many of the people there being completely ******* berserk.
treboy1992 4
ur a dumbass thats not why they call berkeley
mshay 3
I was referring to the idiots who misspelled "Berkeley" as "Berkely" in their comments.
judachua 0
Wooo Berkeley!
JonnyNoThumbs 0
Well, at least she learned something.
misomalu 0
If she's only learning what weed smells like in university you have done well, I mean I first smelt it and knew what it was when I was 9, and plus it's her first day, the first few days of any school are just a clusterfuck of finding your classes, learning your teahers names, and introductions, when she is about a month in she should be learning lots, although it is an American public University, so you never know If she'll learn anything useful
hypuuurness 6
well I'd say that's a good first day (; haha